Day 73- Too good

If you start believing you are too good, and there is no one around to prove you wrong, move on.

You really are too good.

Day 72- Botanical gardens

Yesterday we went to visit the botanical gardens.
I can confidently say that it is one of the nicest places you can see inside the city, with lush vegetation, no garbage and no cars.

Also, we saw a lot of very nice Orchids :)

Here is the album, and below you have some pictures.

Day 71- What do YOU do in your free time?

I have come to discover that one of the nicest things that happens when you are away from family and friends and all that you know is that you get to spend a lot of time with yourself.

And when you do that, you tend to behave in the way that is natural to you: some people sleep a lot, others go out in the city, others do all sorts of crazy things, and people like myself spend a lot of time browsing through the internet.

It is called "browsing", but I notice that for me it is a particular recurring pattern that I will call "topic jumping" (which I begun to refine starting at around the time I entered university).

As an example, I start by reading about something related to the mortgage crisis, go to Wikipedia to research it, then see an interesting link about a certain historical figure- click_open in new window-, then read about him and see an interesting link about undersea life- click_open in new window- then reading about that I see another thing about an impressionist painter- click_open in new window- and on it goes.

After about one hour of topic jumping I get a dozen new windows open, each about a different subject.

And then the fun part starts for me.
Having those browser windows open, in each of them I open tabs while reading more and more information (and I will never be grateful enough for Mozilla and its ability to restore your session in case your comp. crashes).

At this point, I stop "topic jumping" and just read a lot about that subject, until I get to understand it at least at a conceptual level.
Of course, in case I need that info in the future, I nicely bookmark the websites in a neatly categorized bookmark folder system (with a live back-up on the web) .

Four hours later I look at the clock and its already 2am :)

I have no idea if it is just me or everyone does it, but I see it connected with my "encyclopedic" way of thinking and understanding the world around me.

And yes, I am aware that being and encyclopedic person used to be "posh" in the 1800s.
Current paradigm is "expertise", with everyone insisting on you being specialized and focused on a specific and narrow area of expertise.

Truth is that I cannot really spend my time thinking about one single thing. I focus and do things, but then my mind wanders in different places. Kinda like this guy.
I like to learn a lot of things about everything, from growing orchids to model rockets and building your own steam powered boat.

I am sure that overall, looking at what is appreciated in the world right now, there are few chances for me to become "a true" expert on anything.

On the other hand, you should only do the things that make you feel good and screw the popular thinking :)

So, here is what I discovered tonight.
Although I am not a fan on Microsoft, after WorldWideTelescope I have begun to take a different view on their work.
Now, with Photosynth, I think I am very close to becoming one :)

Here is a TED talk about Photosynth



and one about the WorldWideTelescope, if you did not happen to be in my mailing list a few months ago.

Day 70- Key to perseverance

How happy would you feel to know that you would have a perseverance indicator?
Something to tell you when you are not keeping up with your commitments?
Something that just stays there until you act?

Well....I have. It is called "my back".

Most probably it is from the shape and design of the school benches in which I spent 12 years studying in.
Add to that the fact that, when being small, I used to be more on the geeky reading side than the sports side, and voila. My spine did not grow quite straight (like this but only not that serious)
Its not crooked in a very "curvy" manner, but just enough as not to be straight.

Also it might be just the fact that there was something wrong with me to begin with :)

Anyway, I present you my perseverence barometer.

When it starts to hurt it means that I have spent more than 2 weeks without going swimming (which until now has proven to be the best solution to make the pain away).

Like an alarm clock, it lets me know I have been slacking off.

Good thing: you cannot snooze, cancel or "flag" it as a "to do for later"
Bad thing: it hurts constantly, every second, and it gets worse as time passes without me acting.

I can already see myself in 30 years, on a stage at a world renowned conference, on the screen behind me projected with big white letters "my success story", and me saying casually:

"Really, it was all in the back"

Others- You need but just one dream......

A movie that I watched several times in the past two years, and it always manages to bring me close to tears :/

Day 68- Technology Engineering and Design

You might have noticed the new link to TED on my blog.
The decision to place it came as a consequence of me noticing how I keep recommending it to everyone I meet.

For me, it is one of the very few ways to come out of the depression created by the uselessness and frustration with the world.
Some of those talks really blow your mind away, and keep you thinking about that subject for days.

Here is a sample:

Day 66- Personal decisions.....they make the world go 'round

What separates who you are from who you want to be is explained by a single word.

Determination

Living and working here, it strikes me continuously, day by day and for more and more people, the total lack of it.
Maybe its a reminiscence of history, maybe its genetic heritage, maybe it's the "latino way", I have no idea.
But it is clear as day: on the average, the determination is present within young people here much less than in Europe.

The past week was a normal one, compared with the normal distribution, with a lot more failures than successes, and with strong disappointments.

Still it is hard for me to figure out why I get disappointed.

Its not like I normally have high expectations from people, because I do not.
I begin by considering everyone around me average, and then working them up or down my internal scale of "intelligence". As the process of getting to know each other advances, so does my opinion and interest in them.
Giving everyone a second chance, I try to make sure that my usual tendency of labeling people does not stop me from treating them fair or "missing" someone that might be at least an interesting conversation.

And still, when they prove their averagenes, and in some cases much worse, I feel totally disappointed.
Its like something breaks in me every time another person shows me what I already know: there are so few truly great people in this world, at this moment, that statistically it is almost impossible to meet them.
Even though I have had the luck of meeting one or two of them, I do not appreciate it and want always more. My mother will now say that without this trait humanity would not have come out of the stone age.

Similarly to a dog that will eat as much as you feed it, I want more and more great people around me, and I also get upset when the reality proves different.
In this regard perhaps I am also a bit on the stupid side right?

Stop having expectations from people is the obvious answer. "In this way, you will be glad when you get surprised and just happy when they prove the contrary" someone once told me.
Even though I kept thinking about it every time I get a disappointment, it seems that I am not capable of doing it.

Why? Because I have such big expectations from myself that, organically, I feel that people around me should be more than average.

At one point in my life, in one of those moments when you are completely honest with yourself, I accepted the following challenge: prove that you are a great individual and then you can have expectations from the ones around you.
As Gandhi said: "How can I judge others when I know how hard I fight with my own demons?".

So I started to fight my demons, and as small victories started to emerge, so did my subconscious expectation that the ones around me have to "deserve" me.

That's reason one, and the most important.

The second is that I assign so much importance to every moment of my life that I literally hate people and situations that waste them.
In the end, for me its a strong internal value: respect my time and I will respect you.
Simple yet very hard to enact and respect.

This becme crystal clear for me when, a few days ago, someone asked me why don't I do something that was in my power, for the good of my team, but in a unfair and unjust manner to the other party involved.
In an instant, as my brain (which seems to be very empathic) processed all the implications, my stomach started feeling strange and a strong sense of indignation took me by surprise.

So, it seems that I do have principles, even though I know some people that do not believe this.

Should I stop having expectations from the people around me?
Yes, because otherwise, considering it all, its clear that I will be constantly disappointed.
No, because if I do, I will not have the chance to meet those fantastic few people that make it all worth it.

For now, I decided to continue on this frustrating road, and ask of others a minimum level of intelligence, according to my own standards and measures.
If they don't conform, and I do not care enough to make them change, then I will stop wasting my time and move on.

It is said that it does not really matter in life if you take good or bad decisions.
The most important thing is to commit and take a decision, any.
If it proves to be the bad one then change and improve.
Never be undecided.

My friends in trading will smile while reading this last sentence, as they are amongst the few people in the world that need to take a decision no matter what happens, how much information they have or how undecided they are.

What if we could all act like traders do with the important decisions of our daily lives?

Day 64- On the speed of time

It flows differently here. Maybe its because all my life changed, with my reality being almost recreated. Or maybe because time now really flows at another speed.

Sixty four days have passed since I stepped out of that plane, unclear and uncertain, with my soul as calm as the sea without any wind.
Now...............the sea is tormented by ever changing storms, moving everything and everyone to new and unknown shores.
Strangely the future is more clear for me than it has ever been.

----
I am writing this post as this evening I have read again Eminescu. Bringing this book along with me may have just been the most important decision I made in a very long time.
----

Sixty four.....it really does not mean anything for my own, internal, time span.

Looking at how my knowledge about myself has changed, it could very well have been six hundred forty years.

I am not what I used to be, and will never be again.
Writing this sentence makes me sad and happy at the same time, the realization of it dividing me between the nostalgia of moments long gone and the joy of moments to come.

----
I do not understand the river yet, but I have begun to hear it.
----

Being sick brought the realization that music changes my spirits in such a way that is almost scary.
Being away from everyone I have ever loved brought the realization of how important they are for me.
Being out of control brought the realization of how much I depend on others, and how fantastic the connections with them can be if you just let go.
Being at the edge of education and development brought the realization of how big is the gap between Europe and the rest of the world.
Wanting to write as much as possible to the world I realized that the only person who can really read these lines is me.

I struggled enormously to not let myself get lost......though it still happens.
Now............. it is clear that I have no chance to succeed in this endeavor.
Not because there is a lack of care or attention, but simply because.......I never had me.

And thus there was actually nothing to lose.

On the surface I look, act and behave almost the same as I did when getting off that plane.
Now..............looking in the mirror........the other side stares back strangely, as if not recognizing me.

Those who have gone through a similar experience will read these lines with a slight smile on their face, neither of joy nor sadness......perhaps thinking of how they left themselves in those places also.

Those who did not, driven by the need to make sense out of everything, make themselves believe they understand the few lines above.
To you I tell, without any shadow of superiority or condescension, that you don't.

I could end by saying that now I am rediscovered, fundamentally changed and totally different, revealed to myself in all splendor and glory.

Truth is that I may never know who I am.

What I can say for sure is that for sixty four sunrises I woke up feeling differently, and for sixty four sunsets I have gone to sleep wondering what is happening to me.

Day 62- Rain...and then sun...and then rain..

Nothing much happening lately, besides the unpredictable rain showers (at least two times per day). 

We are starting to get busier and busier in AIESEC, which is very good, and I am still learning more and more about Dominican Republic (especially about working with locals).

My Spanish is improving, although not as fast as I would want. Probably because I am not studying at all :/

Also, as now autumn is coming to Europe, and everyone is telling me how cold it is, I am starting to miss it a lot. You kind of get sick of sunshine and blue sky all day :)

Anyway.....next few weeks will be a very intense period for all of us here, so I will keep you updated.

Day 54- Back from IC part 2

As I was telling you, Caracas was a very interesting experience for me. We went with the -now state owned- cable car to the top of one of the hills, from where you can see all Carcas. The view is breath taking:

Overall, Caracas was a much more pleasant experience than Sao Paulo, and it was made such by the hospitality and the care of the great guys and girls there.

Now, coming back to our adventure, we were supposed to leave with the charter from Caracas to Punta Cana on Sunday 7th of September.

What do we find out on Saturday morning? That the charter does no longer have any free seats, as it is full of turists.

Because of the hurricane Gustav they had to cancel the flight on the previous Sunday (as the charter only flies on Sunday to DR), and as such they filled the plane with the turists from last week. As we did not have proper flight tickets for the plane (only the special arrangement with the alumnus) we could not do anything about getting seats.

Our only available options were to either wait for a week more and try to get seats in the next charter (which could not be guaranteed) or to pay 450USD for a ticket to Santo Domingo.

So, a serious whole in the finances and finnaly we are home.

After three weeks spend traveling half of the continent, visiting two very nice cities and attending the largest AIESEC conference, here I am back in the Caribbean, "living and working in the Dominican Republic for one year".

Day 53- Thunder rocks the house

Ever since we came back it has rained almost continuously (because of hurricane Ike and also because it is rainy season). 

But last night happened something that I never experienced before, and that is thunder that was so strong that made our windows move. 

Like in the horror movies, the windows were vibrating, along with the doors of the furniture. 

Maybe it was because of the cloud ceiling that was very close to earth, as if you could practically touch them.

Interesting things happen in the Caribbean all the time :)

Day 51- Back from IC part 1

At last I am back in Santo Domingo, which could be called home for me now.

To make it clear, our initial plan when going to IC in Brazil was like this:

-leave from Dominican Republic on a charter that takes off from Punta Cana (DR's largest vacation resort, which is at about 4h distance from Santo Domingo) and lands in Caracas, Venezuela.

Our seats on this charter were offered by a supportive alumni, which promised us also return seats.

-stay for a few hours in Caracas, until we needed to catch the next plane to Sao Paulo

-on the 30th of August, after the IC is over, stay and visit Sao Paulo until the 4th, when we had a plane back to Caracas

-stay in Caracas for three days and then catch the charter with the special "agreement" back to Punta Cana in DR on the 7th of September

The nice experiences started on the way from Santo Domingo to Punta Cana, when we were extremely close to losing the plane as we got lost on the way to Punta Cana.

Fortunately, we made it on time and caught it in the the last second.

In Caracas we were greeted by some extremely nice people (thank you Thais and family, Bernardo, Anita, Mauro, Daniel, Mark, Ricardo) which took us from the airport and hosted us for a few hours until our plane left again to Sao Paulo.

IC.....this conference was for me a very interesting experience.

Mainly because I was very sick starting with the 4th day and lasting for another about 5 days.

39 temperature for two days in a row, severe dehydration, and of course a trip to the hospital.
I did not really want the hospital part, but as some point I understood that it was not just a severe cold and that I needed help besides my normal medication.

As it turned out, it was an infection in my throat that caused the illness.

After getting slightly better, and by better I mean able to walk, the conference started to mean something also for me.
Although, not as you might think, as I did not really go to sessions, I was only at the last party and I did not really have any attraction to talk to a lot of people.

Overall, this experience saw me getting more pragmatic and a bit sadder than usual.
An interesting way of feeling, and a new challenge for me.

After the conference ended, I went to a hostel for the next five days (actually two different hostels), alone, as Malina went to visit Rio de Janeiro.

This time was dedicated to visiting Sao Paulo and getting to feel the Brazilian way of living.

First impression is that the city is HUGE (and it really is, the fourth largest city in the world, 17m people), with

very large building everywhere.
A lot of traffic, noticeable pollution and people from all over the world.
I actually do not know how a Brazilian looks like, because all the people are so different.
As we found our during a presentation of Brazil at IC, on the black market the passport of Brazil is the most expensive one, because everyone can look like a Brazilian :)

So you can imagine the diversity and mix of people.
It is also very developed, an obvious sign being that it has an extremely large number of private helicopters flying all around, with almost every large office building having a heliport.

As a whole I liked Sao Paulo, as it made me realize how I really feel about Latin America, and gave concreteness to my plans for the next few years.

What impressed me most while seeing Sao Paulo was the feeling of being truly alone, as it was the first time in my life when I really did not know anybody around me.
An interesting and revealing experience, showing me how important is the comfort zone to be happy and how much more I need to appreciate people that really care about me.

On the 4th I left Sao Paulo, heading for the three days stay in Caracas.

The city is extremely nice, with very tall buildings (from what I saw, their average floor number in buildings is 20), an extremely green chain of mountains surrounding and overlooking the city (a national park called Avila) and lots of cars.

Venezuela, the place where filling a tank of gas is cheaper than water (less than 1$ for about 70litres of gas), is also a very interesting place.

The main thing you feel is that the Chavez regime is very similar to communism, constraining the people and the market place.

For example, to buy a new car you have to put your name on a list, as every car importing company can only import 100 cars per month.

You cannot buy or sell dollars in the country without asking permission.

The state BUYS companies instead of selling them.

The government changed the official hour of the country, taking it back with 30 minutes from the normal GMT hour!!!!!!!!!!

They changed the coat of arms of Caracas from a horse looking to the right to one looking to the left (as they are leftists).

This and many more made me realize that this is maybe how Romania felt before 89', and also to realize that if I would have lived then I would have left the country for sure.
As I will not ever want to live in Venezuela either.

But, as there is always a but, the people and the capital are extremely nice.
Beautiful, in the figurative and in the proper sense also, in terms of treating visitors and living life.

What I expected to see and was not really true for me is that they are supposed to have the nicest women in Latin America, which I expected to be nicer than Romanian women.

But....that is not really true. We have much nicer women :)

And, in the end of this initial post of my experience traveling through Latin America, I would like to share the biggest surprise of the trip so far: they have Logan in Venezuela (and also in Brazil) :)

More info about the trip and the adventure of returning back to Dominican Republic in the next post.