In these times I get a lot reading done.
Just now, I finished a superb book called "A Short History of Everything".
It talks about, as its name suggest, a lot of things in a very understandable and common language.
I highly recommend it.
Along with that, I have also developed a keen interest in the Encyclopedia of Life.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Day 128- Romanian Night
Last night we did a Romanian Night for the people here, telling them a little about our country and also cooking for them more or less traditional food.
Malina cooked "chec" and I (also with her help) made "bulz cu carnati" or "mamaligutza cu branza si carne" as it is also called.
Big thank you goes to my grandmother for reminding me the recipe :)
Also, I realized that, even though everyone knows I do not particularly love my country, I felt a bit of pride when telling them about Nadia Comaneci and Steaua winning the Champions cup.
You can see all the pictures here.
Malina cooked "chec" and I (also with her help) made "bulz cu carnati" or "mamaligutza cu branza si carne" as it is also called.
Big thank you goes to my grandmother for reminding me the recipe :)
Also, I realized that, even though everyone knows I do not particularly love my country, I felt a bit of pride when telling them about Nadia Comaneci and Steaua winning the Champions cup.
You can see all the pictures here.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Day 123-Christmas is here
Another cultural shock :)
On the radio, the cristmas songs are.....let's say different.
First of all, they are the same as all other "latino/spanish songs".
Second, they contain a lot the word "hot".
Which makes sense it you live in a place where the temperature is never below 25C :)
For us Europeans, that contributes to the "hot Christmas" depression, as it is agains our nature to imagine how a Christmas can be hot, sunny and sweaty.
Third, the advertising campaigns started from middle of October.
More than the others, it gives me a bad taste and makes me despise even more the americanized way of living.
On the radio, the cristmas songs are.....let's say different.
First of all, they are the same as all other "latino/spanish songs".
Second, they contain a lot the word "hot".
Which makes sense it you live in a place where the temperature is never below 25C :)
For us Europeans, that contributes to the "hot Christmas" depression, as it is agains our nature to imagine how a Christmas can be hot, sunny and sweaty.
Third, the advertising campaigns started from middle of October.
More than the others, it gives me a bad taste and makes me despise even more the americanized way of living.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Day 121-On the small pleasures of life
The shower thing is starting to get to me more and more.
In the past, it used to be the biggest small pleasure of everyday.
The only moment when I was with myself, undisturbed, relaxing under the soothing effect of the hot water. That generated in turn the silencing of the inner noise and an opportunity to clear my head.
Exactly because of that I think it was the moment when I used to have the biggest amount of "clarity moments" and creative ideas.
Now........I have only dread and discomfort when knowing I have to take the shower.
Main reason....ITS COLD.
Especially now, as the temperature gets gradually lower, it has become the moment of the day when I enter the bathroom frowning.
Once I start it, the only thing I can think of is how to make it more efficient so as to get out faster.
No ideas, no relaxation, just a race agains the shampoo and the soap.
In the past, it used to be the biggest small pleasure of everyday.
The only moment when I was with myself, undisturbed, relaxing under the soothing effect of the hot water. That generated in turn the silencing of the inner noise and an opportunity to clear my head.
Exactly because of that I think it was the moment when I used to have the biggest amount of "clarity moments" and creative ideas.
Now........I have only dread and discomfort when knowing I have to take the shower.
Main reason....ITS COLD.
Especially now, as the temperature gets gradually lower, it has become the moment of the day when I enter the bathroom frowning.
Once I start it, the only thing I can think of is how to make it more efficient so as to get out faster.
No ideas, no relaxation, just a race agains the shampoo and the soap.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Day 119- On being humble
A few days ago I wrote a recommendation to a friend.
He sent it back, asking me if I can change it, as it was not making him look good enough.
I have been thinking about something ever since I left Citibank.
How much to words really count when you talk about a job?
How do you manage to wake up and go to work everyday?
How can you do your best when you know nobody really cares, and what you do does not really matter?
For the last few months it has dawned on me: you cannot answer these questions while you think of it as a mere "job".
We spend more than half of our lives in "jobs", wasting our time doing things that do not make us happy.
I read once that to truly excel and be happy in your work you need to like it so much that you would do it without pay.
Would YOU do what you do today without pay?
For many years I thought about that saying as something that the fortunate say AFTER they have it.
After they have found that something, after they got the dream job.
At the end, when giving advices is the easiest thing in the world.
I also thought that you can only find that job by pure randomness , and only if you are "lucky".
But now I begin to think about it differently.
First......I now understand and accept that nothing in life will come to me for free.
Admittedly, most of what I have until now is because me and my family were fortunate.
But that can change in the blink of an eye.
In a way, I sometimes think of my fortunate life in a spiteful way, because I think that because of this I have grown to be less strong and less determinate than I could have been.
And then I realize that I am using my energy on something I cannot change, and that is the past.
As such, I am looking towards the future.
The conclusion: I need to create the reality I want for myself, and in the same time accept the luck that I might or might not have.
Second..........I CAN create the reality I want.
Accepting this means that I will stop thinking of myself in such good terms.
Reading "Good to great", it struck me that by continuing to see myself as a high-results superstar and a bottom-line-only person, will help me become good. Good but never great.
And it's not that I necessarily want to be great.
Because wanting to be great in the picture-in-times-magazine way eludes the whole point.
I want to be the best that I can be.
Continuing to see myself as the center of my universe will allow me to grow, but only until one point.
After that it will just keep me in a bubble of a self fulfilling prophecy.
I am getting a bit tired of this "americanized" way of looking at myself.
Call it age, wisdom or whatever, but I realize I have to stop being so full of my "greatness".
Coming back to the job part.
How does it all relate?
The world is a big place, filled to the brim with crappy positions and shitty jobs. That will not change.
It is a matter of luck and randomness to find the perfect job for yourself. That will not change.
You have big changes of never finding the perfect job. That will not change.
What will change is that I can be very honest first with myself, and then with my employer.
What will change is that I will focus on creating something valuable, something that really makes the world a better place. No matter how small or insignificant, it has to have purpose.
What will change is that if I will stay in a position, then every morning I will have a smile on my face.
What will change is that I will first give and then receive. I will first work and prove myself and then ask for proper reimbursement.
What will change is the fact that every time I will find myself in a place where I am not appreciated, or I cannot add value, I will simply move on.
And yes, I know what it means.
Maybe I will never have that perfect career track.
Maybe my CV will always look like a job portal.
Maybe I will find it increasingly harder and harder to get jobs.
But what are the options?
Climbing the "corporate ladder" by taking and giving bullshit all day?
Using the people below me as a step for the next position?
Back stabbing, front slapping and side punching?
Waiting anxiously for the heart attack at 50 because of too much stress?
Not being able to stand the face I see in the mirror?
In the end............ it is all about the journey.......about the search for that place in which you go to every morning, for pleasure, in which you are appreciated accordingly to your efforts, and in which you can stay for years, to create something real, something valuable....something good.
So, I say to my friend the same things I say to myself now: First give and then ask.
Leave aside the illusion that you are the best and stop thinking at yourself as THE MAN.
You are just another hot shot amongst many others like you.
Stop feeling "unappreciated" and just put your head down and get to work.
Be more humble.
Maybe we will both find what we are looking for.
Or maybe not.
At least you have been working everyday knowing that you are honest with yourself.
You will lose most of the time, I know for sure I did, you will get used most of the time, I know I was, but in the end what matters is the knowledge that you gave your best.
Everyday.
He sent it back, asking me if I can change it, as it was not making him look good enough.
I have been thinking about something ever since I left Citibank.
How much to words really count when you talk about a job?
How do you manage to wake up and go to work everyday?
How can you do your best when you know nobody really cares, and what you do does not really matter?
For the last few months it has dawned on me: you cannot answer these questions while you think of it as a mere "job".
We spend more than half of our lives in "jobs", wasting our time doing things that do not make us happy.
I read once that to truly excel and be happy in your work you need to like it so much that you would do it without pay.
Would YOU do what you do today without pay?
For many years I thought about that saying as something that the fortunate say AFTER they have it.
After they have found that something, after they got the dream job.
At the end, when giving advices is the easiest thing in the world.
I also thought that you can only find that job by pure randomness , and only if you are "lucky".
But now I begin to think about it differently.
First......I now understand and accept that nothing in life will come to me for free.
Admittedly, most of what I have until now is because me and my family were fortunate.
But that can change in the blink of an eye.
In a way, I sometimes think of my fortunate life in a spiteful way, because I think that because of this I have grown to be less strong and less determinate than I could have been.
And then I realize that I am using my energy on something I cannot change, and that is the past.
As such, I am looking towards the future.
The conclusion: I need to create the reality I want for myself, and in the same time accept the luck that I might or might not have.
Second..........I CAN create the reality I want.
Accepting this means that I will stop thinking of myself in such good terms.
Reading "Good to great", it struck me that by continuing to see myself as a high-results superstar and a bottom-line-only person, will help me become good. Good but never great.
And it's not that I necessarily want to be great.
Because wanting to be great in the picture-in-times-magazine way eludes the whole point.
I want to be the best that I can be.
Continuing to see myself as the center of my universe will allow me to grow, but only until one point.
After that it will just keep me in a bubble of a self fulfilling prophecy.
I am getting a bit tired of this "americanized" way of looking at myself.
Call it age, wisdom or whatever, but I realize I have to stop being so full of my "greatness".
Coming back to the job part.
How does it all relate?
The world is a big place, filled to the brim with crappy positions and shitty jobs. That will not change.
It is a matter of luck and randomness to find the perfect job for yourself. That will not change.
You have big changes of never finding the perfect job. That will not change.
What will change is that I can be very honest first with myself, and then with my employer.
What will change is that I will focus on creating something valuable, something that really makes the world a better place. No matter how small or insignificant, it has to have purpose.
What will change is that if I will stay in a position, then every morning I will have a smile on my face.
What will change is that I will first give and then receive. I will first work and prove myself and then ask for proper reimbursement.
What will change is the fact that every time I will find myself in a place where I am not appreciated, or I cannot add value, I will simply move on.
And yes, I know what it means.
Maybe I will never have that perfect career track.
Maybe my CV will always look like a job portal.
Maybe I will find it increasingly harder and harder to get jobs.
But what are the options?
Climbing the "corporate ladder" by taking and giving bullshit all day?
Using the people below me as a step for the next position?
Back stabbing, front slapping and side punching?
Waiting anxiously for the heart attack at 50 because of too much stress?
Not being able to stand the face I see in the mirror?
In the end............ it is all about the journey.......about the search for that place in which you go to every morning, for pleasure, in which you are appreciated accordingly to your efforts, and in which you can stay for years, to create something real, something valuable....something good.
So, I say to my friend the same things I say to myself now: First give and then ask.
Leave aside the illusion that you are the best and stop thinking at yourself as THE MAN.
You are just another hot shot amongst many others like you.
Stop feeling "unappreciated" and just put your head down and get to work.
Be more humble.
Maybe we will both find what we are looking for.
Or maybe not.
At least you have been working everyday knowing that you are honest with yourself.
You will lose most of the time, I know for sure I did, you will get used most of the time, I know I was, but in the end what matters is the knowledge that you gave your best.
Everyday.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Day 117- The power of positive thinking
If you needed more proof that thinking positive does influence your life, take a look at this.
Something I never quite understood is why we, as rational beings, even though confronted with numerous cases and demonstrations that negative thoughts and emotions are not "constructive", keep having and indulging in them.
Maybe it is part of the equilibrium needed between positive and negative, the famous Ying and Yang, or maybe its just because we get bored of only one thing, liking more the variety in life.
It might sound stupid, but sometimes I really thing that that is the major reason for the lack of consistency in humans.
For me, the mindset has definitely changed.
As I was explaining to her a few days ago why I do not want to continue to render useless the moments that I live by filling them with negative emotions.
Words constitute one of the biggest generators of feelings, so I will try to stop using words that are negative in a obvious way.
I am not talking about transforming into Mother Theresa, but about all those small details and things that you say just because you got used to them.
All the nasty things, all the cruel cynical little comments, along with the sarcastic "words of wisdom".
For sure I am one of those sarcastic and cynical people, and as such I am now making a conscious effort to change.
How come this happened?
It is mostly because I now had the chance to truly understand, and more than that, I could actually feel the fact that life for most of the people on this world has a very low quality (when compared to the "civilized world").
I know that these people can and are happy, in their own way, but for me this realization came as a very strong question:
If I have in my life persons that love me, and I love them back, and if I have the power to create value for others, and I have a body that is healthy, and I have the mind to understand all of the above......then why do I keep complaining?
You might read these lines and think that I am transforming into a "hippie".
It might be true.
Regardless of that, my decision is made.
Maybe tomorrow, or maybe in years....that is not as important as the fact that I will stop complaining about what I do not have and focus on what I have and on what I can improve.
About my life, about myslef and about what I have around me.
Something I never quite understood is why we, as rational beings, even though confronted with numerous cases and demonstrations that negative thoughts and emotions are not "constructive", keep having and indulging in them.
Maybe it is part of the equilibrium needed between positive and negative, the famous Ying and Yang, or maybe its just because we get bored of only one thing, liking more the variety in life.
It might sound stupid, but sometimes I really thing that that is the major reason for the lack of consistency in humans.
For me, the mindset has definitely changed.
As I was explaining to her a few days ago why I do not want to continue to render useless the moments that I live by filling them with negative emotions.
Words constitute one of the biggest generators of feelings, so I will try to stop using words that are negative in a obvious way.
I am not talking about transforming into Mother Theresa, but about all those small details and things that you say just because you got used to them.
All the nasty things, all the cruel cynical little comments, along with the sarcastic "words of wisdom".
For sure I am one of those sarcastic and cynical people, and as such I am now making a conscious effort to change.
How come this happened?
It is mostly because I now had the chance to truly understand, and more than that, I could actually feel the fact that life for most of the people on this world has a very low quality (when compared to the "civilized world").
I know that these people can and are happy, in their own way, but for me this realization came as a very strong question:
If I have in my life persons that love me, and I love them back, and if I have the power to create value for others, and I have a body that is healthy, and I have the mind to understand all of the above......then why do I keep complaining?
You might read these lines and think that I am transforming into a "hippie".
It might be true.
Regardless of that, my decision is made.
Maybe tomorrow, or maybe in years....that is not as important as the fact that I will stop complaining about what I do not have and focus on what I have and on what I can improve.
About my life, about myslef and about what I have around me.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Day 114- Bahia de la Aguilas and driving skills
Today we went on the 6 hours trip (one way only) to see the nicest, most beautiful, natural and unspoiled beaches in the whole of Dominican Republic.
How was it?
Sand, sea and sun.
Nothing special, just.....what you would expect from a normal beach, with normal sand...and sun....and water.
I do have to admit that there were less people than at the other beaches and that the boat trip to get to the beach was different than your normal "let's go to the beach experience".
The trip to see a thing such as Bahia de las Aguilas is definitely NOT worth it.
Buuuuuut, I have had joy to live the worst driving experience ever, contributing, this time for good, to my decision of not going in cars that I do not drive myself.
We went 11 people in two 4X4's , one of them driven by a Dominican guy and the other driven by a Colombian.
With the Dominican, it all makes sense, as for them is normal not to have even a minimum common sense or fear of dangers, or knowledge of proper driving techniques and etiquette.
With the Colombian, let's just say that he had absolutely ZERO consideration for potential dangers.
Imagine two children put behind a wheel for the first time, trying to show off and prove their manliness by pushing the accelerator.
Bear in mind not even in a proper mechanical gearbox car but in lazy american-like automatics.
Brainless pressing of the pedal.
None of them knew the cars, but we sped with 160km/h on roads filled with pigs, cows and people on motorcycles.
At one time, we even spun out of control on a side road and stopped about one meter short of hitting a concrete pillar.
But that is nothing compared to the "creamy" experience of entering a curve on the opposite side, and staying there until you get out of the curve.
With no visibility.
And I am not talking about something that happened once or twice, but in EVERY curve.
Really, it is amazing for me how these people still manage to survive every day with such a high level of intelligence, preparation for the future and sense of danger.
Bear in mind that this is the second time this happens to me while going with a Dominican driver in the Dominican Republic.
This raises some questions about my own level of intelligence right?
Now that I think about it.....it makes sense.
How can you know how to properly drive if all your experience in based on moving around all day in the city at 60km/h?
Thank God that this is an island and most of these specimens cannot escape from here.
12 hours of pure butt-clenching pleasure, and 1 hour on a beach.
That was my day.
Overall a crappy weekend, with life threatening situations and lots of "bad vibes".
Well......at least I did the only thing I really wanted to do before leaving this place.
How was it?
Sand, sea and sun.
Nothing special, just.....what you would expect from a normal beach, with normal sand...and sun....and water.
I do have to admit that there were less people than at the other beaches and that the boat trip to get to the beach was different than your normal "let's go to the beach experience".
The trip to see a thing such as Bahia de las Aguilas is definitely NOT worth it.
Buuuuuut, I have had joy to live the worst driving experience ever, contributing, this time for good, to my decision of not going in cars that I do not drive myself.
We went 11 people in two 4X4's , one of them driven by a Dominican guy and the other driven by a Colombian.
With the Dominican, it all makes sense, as for them is normal not to have even a minimum common sense or fear of dangers, or knowledge of proper driving techniques and etiquette.
With the Colombian, let's just say that he had absolutely ZERO consideration for potential dangers.
Imagine two children put behind a wheel for the first time, trying to show off and prove their manliness by pushing the accelerator.
Bear in mind not even in a proper mechanical gearbox car but in lazy american-like automatics.
Brainless pressing of the pedal.
None of them knew the cars, but we sped with 160km/h on roads filled with pigs, cows and people on motorcycles.
At one time, we even spun out of control on a side road and stopped about one meter short of hitting a concrete pillar.
But that is nothing compared to the "creamy" experience of entering a curve on the opposite side, and staying there until you get out of the curve.
With no visibility.
And I am not talking about something that happened once or twice, but in EVERY curve.
Really, it is amazing for me how these people still manage to survive every day with such a high level of intelligence, preparation for the future and sense of danger.
Bear in mind that this is the second time this happens to me while going with a Dominican driver in the Dominican Republic.
This raises some questions about my own level of intelligence right?
Now that I think about it.....it makes sense.
How can you know how to properly drive if all your experience in based on moving around all day in the city at 60km/h?
Thank God that this is an island and most of these specimens cannot escape from here.
12 hours of pure butt-clenching pleasure, and 1 hour on a beach.
That was my day.
Overall a crappy weekend, with life threatening situations and lots of "bad vibes".
Well......at least I did the only thing I really wanted to do before leaving this place.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Day 113- I....always I
In case you did not notice until now, I am a very “I” person.
In my blog, the word with highest number of appearances is “I“.
Actually, I remember someone once told me that I should stop writing my emails with so many “I”, as it makes the reader slightly uncomfortable.
So, what do I do? How do I make my writing to be about “You”?
Really, it has been a question to which the answer keeps eluding me every time.
My individualistic character is so strong that I really struggle with finding other words or structuring the sentences differently so that I do not have to use “I”.
Did you notice this while reading my blog?
If so, does it bother you?
And if yes, what do you suggest I do about it?
In my blog, the word with highest number of appearances is “I“.
Actually, I remember someone once told me that I should stop writing my emails with so many “I”, as it makes the reader slightly uncomfortable.
So, what do I do? How do I make my writing to be about “You”?
Really, it has been a question to which the answer keeps eluding me every time.
My individualistic character is so strong that I really struggle with finding other words or structuring the sentences differently so that I do not have to use “I”.
Did you notice this while reading my blog?
If so, does it bother you?
And if yes, what do you suggest I do about it?
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Day 111-On the difference in quality of life
What do you mean when you say that “the quality of life in X country is lower/higher than in Y”?
I am not talking about the textbook explanation, but about things that have a real impact on you when living in another place.
In my case, as living in Latin America for three months already, the difference is very significant and it is slowly starting to get to me.
Come to think about it, the best way to describe it is to say that its all in the details.
For example, the way in which the cashier at the supermarket looks and talks to you.
Or they way in which people talk to each other.
Or the way in which the electricity goes out for 4 hours every single day.
It really is a very subjective discussion, but what is clear for me is that I do not want to live in a place where every small detail annoys and stresses me.
You might say it is all part of the famous “cultural shocks” that we keep talking about in AIESEC, and I agree with you that it is.
But that does not mean that I have to like or accept these "differences".
In the end, I believe it comes down to how much you are willing to compromise, and if you have a real choice or not.
So, today’s question to my readers that have/had cultural shocks, is:
Where did you draw the line between being willing to adapt and refusing to compromise?
I am not talking about the textbook explanation, but about things that have a real impact on you when living in another place.
In my case, as living in Latin America for three months already, the difference is very significant and it is slowly starting to get to me.
Come to think about it, the best way to describe it is to say that its all in the details.
For example, the way in which the cashier at the supermarket looks and talks to you.
Or they way in which people talk to each other.
Or the way in which the electricity goes out for 4 hours every single day.
It really is a very subjective discussion, but what is clear for me is that I do not want to live in a place where every small detail annoys and stresses me.
You might say it is all part of the famous “cultural shocks” that we keep talking about in AIESEC, and I agree with you that it is.
But that does not mean that I have to like or accept these "differences".
In the end, I believe it comes down to how much you are willing to compromise, and if you have a real choice or not.
So, today’s question to my readers that have/had cultural shocks, is:
Where did you draw the line between being willing to adapt and refusing to compromise?
Monday, November 3, 2008
Day 108- Good to great
I am now reading this book called “Good to great”, after reading it's review in Marius Ghenea's blog.
The author (Jim Collins) discusses his findings from the research of the ways in which good companies become great.
I have read a lot of business books, but I have to admit this is one of the best.
A no-bullshit, down to earth explanation for how true success is created.
Something nice is that, because it was written somewhere in the beginning of the 2000s, you can now look in retrospective and see how some companies presented in the book evolved since (for example Fannie Mae, regarded by some as the source of the present global financial crisis).
Another reason why I think I like it so much is that is rings true with my own view on these subjects.
I really recommend you read it.
The author (Jim Collins) discusses his findings from the research of the ways in which good companies become great.
I have read a lot of business books, but I have to admit this is one of the best.
A no-bullshit, down to earth explanation for how true success is created.
Something nice is that, because it was written somewhere in the beginning of the 2000s, you can now look in retrospective and see how some companies presented in the book evolved since (for example Fannie Mae, regarded by some as the source of the present global financial crisis).
Another reason why I think I like it so much is that is rings true with my own view on these subjects.
I really recommend you read it.