A few days ago I wrote a recommendation to a friend.
He sent it back, asking me if I can change it, as it was not making him look good enough.
I have been thinking about something ever since I left Citibank.
How much to words really count when you talk about a job?
How do you manage to wake up and go to work everyday?
How can you do your best when you know nobody really cares, and what you do does not really matter?
For the last few months it has dawned on me: you cannot answer these questions while you think of it as a mere "job".
We spend more than half of our lives in "jobs", wasting our time doing things that do not make us happy.
I read once that to truly excel and be happy in your work you need to like it so much that you would do it without pay.
Would YOU do what you do today without pay?
For many years I thought about that saying as something that the fortunate say AFTER they have it.
After they have found that something, after they got the dream job.
At the end, when giving advices is the easiest thing in the world.
I also thought that you can only find that job by pure randomness , and only if you are "lucky".
But now I begin to think about it differently.
First......I now understand and accept that nothing in life will come to me for free.
Admittedly, most of what I have until now is because me and my family were fortunate.
But that can change in the blink of an eye.
In a way, I sometimes think of my fortunate life in a spiteful way, because I think that because of this I have grown to be less strong and less determinate than I could have been.
And then I realize that I am using my energy on something I cannot change, and that is the past.
As such, I am looking towards the future.
The conclusion: I need to create the reality I want for myself, and in the same time accept the luck that I might or might not have.
Second..........I CAN create the reality I want.
Accepting this means that I will stop thinking of myself in such good terms.
Reading "Good to great", it struck me that by continuing to see myself as a high-results superstar and a bottom-line-only person, will help me become good. Good but never great.
And it's not that I necessarily want to be great.
Because wanting to be great in the picture-in-times-magazine way eludes the whole point.
I want to be the best that I can be.
Continuing to see myself as the center of my universe will allow me to grow, but only until one point.
After that it will just keep me in a bubble of a self fulfilling prophecy.
I am getting a bit tired of this "americanized" way of looking at myself.
Call it age, wisdom or whatever, but I realize I have to stop being so full of my "greatness".
Coming back to the job part.
How does it all relate?
The world is a big place, filled to the brim with crappy positions and shitty jobs. That will not change.
It is a matter of luck and randomness to find the perfect job for yourself. That will not change.
You have big changes of never finding the perfect job. That will not change.
What will change is that I can be very honest first with myself, and then with my employer.
What will change is that I will focus on creating something valuable, something that really makes the world a better place. No matter how small or insignificant, it has to have purpose.
What will change is that if I will stay in a position, then every morning I will have a smile on my face.
What will change is that I will first give and then receive. I will first work and prove myself and then ask for proper reimbursement.
What will change is the fact that every time I will find myself in a place where I am not appreciated, or I cannot add value, I will simply move on.
And yes, I know what it means.
Maybe I will never have that perfect career track.
Maybe my CV will always look like a job portal.
Maybe I will find it increasingly harder and harder to get jobs.
But what are the options?
Climbing the "corporate ladder" by taking and giving bullshit all day?
Using the people below me as a step for the next position?
Back stabbing, front slapping and side punching?
Waiting anxiously for the heart attack at 50 because of too much stress?
Not being able to stand the face I see in the mirror?
In the end............ it is all about the journey.......about the search for that place in which you go to every morning, for pleasure, in which you are appreciated accordingly to your efforts, and in which you can stay for years, to create something real, something valuable....something good.
So, I say to my friend the same things I say to myself now: First give and then ask.
Leave aside the illusion that you are the best and stop thinking at yourself as THE MAN.
You are just another hot shot amongst many others like you.
Stop feeling "unappreciated" and just put your head down and get to work.
Be more humble.
Maybe we will both find what we are looking for.
Or maybe not.
At least you have been working everyday knowing that you are honest with yourself.
You will lose most of the time, I know for sure I did, you will get used most of the time, I know I was, but in the end what matters is the knowledge that you gave your best.
Everyday.
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