Day 104- On mothers, creating realities and building characters

How much has your mother influenced your life?

I watched Ray, and it made me remember about how important are mothers in our life.
The same as after watching Forrest Gump, what remains in my mind, deeply ingrained in my consciousness, is not the main character with his achievements, greatness or failure, but the attitude of his mother.

Everything you are, from how your head is shaped to how disciplined you are, from how you are walking to the way you think and feel, all of it was influenced by her.
Your whole existence is traced back to your childhood and your parents, with an enormous effect from the person that gave you life.

It is not that fathers are less important, but because your mother has created for you a reality in a time where you could not, her effect on you was much more than that of your fathers.
She has shown you the way the world works, and through her paradigms you are destined to live your life.
There are special cases, I know that, but the vast majority of us develop in this way.

We can indeed change ourselves at any time, but how crucially important is the way in which our mothers behaved and lived their own lives until the time they had us, and thus the advices and believes they transferred.

For me at least, my mother is the one that made me what I am.
I know that she will read these lines and smile, and that she understands this better than I do.
And so does your mother.

Why am I writing these lines?
Not as a monument to mothers, but because I am wondering.
Wondering how will my personality, and the way in which I live and understand my life, affect the development of my children.

You can say that, being 22, I still have enough time to think about that.

But is that true?

We are who we are because we behaved in the same way for all the sum of the moments passed.
We are who we are because at each step of the way, we understood the world through the paradigms we gained in the past.

Now is as good a moment as any to think about this.

I will be a father one day, and all I am now and how I will behave until that moment will dictate my effect on my children.

Yes, parents grow and get wiser with the growth of their children, but it makes an incredible difference the way you are in those first "reality creating" years.

Start building today the image of how you want to be as a parent, and by the time it will really happen, when you will need to step up to the task for real, you will be ready.

In the end, my question for you girls that are reading my blog, the future character creators and life-shapers:

How do YOU want to be as a mother?

Day 102- On why the sun does not allow you to be sad

In the land of the eternal sun, all is good.

Only that....well.......there is a small thing......you cannot........... be sad.
The sun, with its daily comforting shininess, does not let you savor and revel in the occasional melancholy.

What is wrong with being happy all the time? I don't know, but it just does not feel right, and after some time it starts getting to you. And with the hurricane season almost over now, no hope at all for dark clouds.

Probably if I would have been born here, I would not feel that strange. But I do.

All this constant sense of "all is good" that I get from the bright sun makes me feel more and more uncomfortable.

Its like a bubble is created around this place, making it immune from all the sadness in the world.
Like a shield, protecting its inhabitants from bad feelings.



Me and my mother kept discussing some time ago the reasons why being in paradise would be a boring experience.

This place does seem to be that way, with happy and content people everywhere, lush vegetation all around, birds singing and all that.

After experiencing it for some time now, it seems we were right.

Can you please send some autumn this way?
I would appreciate it a lot.
If not....there are big chances I will go totally crazy with happiness, as can be seen :)

Day 100- Looking back

One hundred days gone by now.

Looking back, the fact that I write this blog has been a very rewarding experience.
I managed to achieve an objective I had but was not stated, that of having a post every two days.
On average, I did it.
Friends that I have not heard from for a very long time email me to tell me how much they like it, people that are close to me appreciate the openness and honesty of my posts, other people I have never met are constantly reading it also.
Overall, I truly feel that I have kept in contact with everyone.

On the other hand, a strage thing is happening.
Every time someone asks me how it is here, I feel a sudden tiredness and uselessness in telling the whole story again, so I just point them here.
In  a way it has kept me close to you, but in another it will distance me from everyone elese in the future who wants to know how it was for me to be living and working here.


Good or bad, it does not matter.
It is an experience, and it was worth it.

As such, I decided to continue to have blogs, as a permanent replacement of my paper-based diary.

I want to invite you also to discover more about me and my journey with the Violin.

Thank you for reading, and see you again in another 100 days.

Day 99- Lideres formando Lideres

This weekend we had our first visible and public result as a team.

It was called "Ser Mas- Lideres formando Lideres" (Be More- Leaders creating Leaders), and it was targeted for young people wanting to learn more about leadership and about AIESEC.

A very nice experience, and rewarding also.

Day 98- Dominican Republic from another point of view

My first trainee matched and realized in AIESEC arrived here 3 weeks ago :)

Below you can see a movie that he made for his Local Committee back home with impressions from here.

Day 96- I can see clearly now, the rain is gone....

You know that feeling of purposefulness, of knowing exactly what you want?
Well, I have it again.

It's about a special place for me. Vienna
It's about starting my life-long journey with arts. The Violin
It's about her. No matter where life takes us
It's about living. Simply, directly and without stress
It's about happiness. Which comes only from within me

It's not only about work and money anymore, at least not for now.


As with most of the things in life, someone in the past managed to find a way to transmit it better than me, so I will let you enjoy.

:)

Day 95- Exclusive fotos of the elusive "carrito publico"

As promised, here are the pictures with the infamous carritos publicos that I keep telling you about.

Enjoy them, as I sure do :/

 

 

The scotch holding the mirror together is more real than it appears.

  

  

  

Notice the wind blowing so smooth through my hair. Never mind the spare wheel in the back. 

  

Here, please pay special attention to the "tuned sport" type of door.

The low rider :)

So, now I have also shared with you one of the most common pleasures you can enjoy in Dominican Republic.

Day 93- Thank you Oana

There are special people you meet, if you are fortunate enough, with whom you simply connect.
Purely, without effort or thought, it seems you have known them all your life.

Like diamonds buried deep within the black earth, one day, by pure fortune, you encounter them.
And from that point on, you are never the same.



Like books.

You read one, and it makes you think.

You read a good one, and you get totally immersed.

You read a fantastic one............... and your mind stands still. Feeling things that you did not know were there, your soul making new and unimaginable connections while moving you through time, space and consciousness.

You read a fantastic one in the right time of your life, and it changes it forever.



Thank you Oana for the conversations, for the insights, for everything, but most of all for giving me fantastic books at right times.

Day 92- On teams of people....or people teams?

This past few days have been filled with honesty, passion and dreams for the future.

It is hard to believe in something, but all you need is to start.
After that, it comes naturally.

Saying the truth -the whole truth- is never an easy or pleasant experience.
Our team of five has found out this fact during this weekend..
We have shared, we have admitted and deep within us we have also committed.

To following our hearts, to results and to the future of AIESEC in this country.

Simply put, now its really up to us to make things happen.

Day 89- Becoming a vegetable?

I am spending most of my days in front of the laptop.
It is a nice experience, as it gives me time to do things that I could not in the past.
Do proper blogging, download eBooks, do more research, freely surf the web.

On the other hand, I feel more or less like the author of this article.
And the surprising thing is that even though I have relatively sufficient time for myself (as opposed to how my days used to look in Citi), I tend not to use it wisely.

Changes must occur.
As such, I will begin to modify my behavior and allocate time during the day for exercises, normal reading and time to contemplate.

How are you spending your days?

Day 87- Autumn coming to the Caribbean

How do you know autumn has come? The cold showers are not that pleasant anymore.
As you have more or less the same temperature during summer (around 30C with lots of humidity), your body is becoming accustomed to that.
Now as the temperature changes, you really feel the cold. By cold I mean 25 degrees Celsius.

So you CAN feel the coldness in the Caribbeans :)

Day 85- Tying the loose ends

It seems that I am cleaning my soul here.
I just finished doing something that I should have done a long, long time ago: I said another thank you.

Don't know how I will look like when leaving this place, but it is becoming clear for me that it will a very different person than the one that came here.
Lighter, with no loose ends or unsolved things.

Most of the people do this when they are told they are going to die.
It is called "putting order in your life".

My suggestion: do it right now.

Make that call, have that meeting, say those words.

It is never too late (or too early) to put light on the shadows, to tie the loose ends and to lighten yourself from the burdens.

Live every day as if it were your last and then some day you'll be right.
~H.H. "Breaker" Morant

Day 83- Blogs I follow and weird facts about me

As you enjoy keeping up with my posts in this blog, so do I carefully read a few others.

Here they are, in a random order:

1-Freakonomics, from the authors of the book with the same name. Although most of the posts are from collaborators (no the authors themselves), they are extremely interesting, though focused a lot on the US reality.

2-The Happiness Project, a question-raising blog/journal of someone in search of happiness.

3-eDragonu, the story of a successful Romanian entrepreneur who has decided to sell everything and move to New Zealand.

4-Live Love Laugh, the blog of an old friend from AIESEC Bucharest, always with a smile on her face.

5-Sara's journal, where she should write more often. I met her at IC in Brazil where we had a very nice conversation at the end of a long pre-meeting day. Thanks

6- : , a very interesting concept for a blog from a very interesting person. She seems to keep a journal of her raw emotions, without needing to make sense to the outside world.
I kinda feel like that's how my blog would look like if I did not take the trouble to explain myself. Also, I am anxiously awaiting for the ")" after the ":"............or maybe just "|"?

7-Lanny Goodman's Strategic Insights, which althought it seems to be used mainly as a self promoting blog, it really did offer me some real insights into some aspects that I could not properly identify until then.

Now, about those seven weird facts about me that I am supposed to "confess":

1-Even thought it is important for me to properly transmit messages when talking, most of the times I do not bother to "package" the message in a way in which my conversation partner can easily understand. I just say things as I think them, with complete honesty.

2-I have to listen to music to feel good, and I can control how I feel with the music I play.
Thus, my ears are covered with the headphones at all times.

3-I have an obsession about not wasting my time and living every moment, but still I spend a lot of time being upset about different things.

4-I want to live in the present, but most of the time I live for my plans, dreams and objectives. That is one of the things that I struggle hard to change.

5-I speak almost perfect English, but I do not bother to have also an accent.
And I do not want to. That's why my English sounds very Eastern European/Russian.....and admittedly kind of "irritating" (even for myself).

6-I have very few friends, but do not want more.

7-Most of my conversations are so open and honest that even people that know me sometimes cannot take it :)

Day 82- The day I fell in love

with the violin.

The morning started with reading this article about the way in which we are superficial in assessing beauty.

After that, all the day was an obsessive search for information about this instrument that has me totally enthralled.
And of course all happening in the godly chimes and tunes generated by the skillful hands of Joshua Bell.

I decided, and thus set as an objective, to save money to buy a violin and get lessons as soon as I go back to Europe (as it turns out, Romanians used to be the top violin makers in the past).

Even though I will probably never become a master, it does not matter.
I just want to learn and be able to play for myself and my own pleasure.

funny....that happens also with writing......and loving.....and working.....and relating to people....

It seems that I am living only for myself :)

Day 80- Climbing mountains outside is climbing mountains inside

that is what someone used to say.
I saw today a tv commercial with him.....and it made me think again about what I really want to do further.

Yesterday I read a very interesting post in a blog called The Happiness Project that reminded me about sunscreen.



So.....how do you know what is the best way to proceed?
You do not.

At this point I know for sure that I want Germany, France or Austria as countries and maybe Norway (only for a very interesting opportunity).
In terms of geographical position I am decided.


I used to want to go back in banking, but as it turns out with the global situation, doing that would be like wanting to get hired as a personal assistant to a terminally ill person :)

There is no clarity in my mind regarding the industry in which I want to be, but I do have some perfect jobs in mind.

-Assistant to CEO in a company that is expanding globally.
-Working in a publicly unknown Venture Capital fund that has a very large investment capacity.
-Business Development for a company that works in or connected to recycling.
-Working in a company that focuses on developing ways of marketing alternative energy solutions.

They are perfect jobs because I am aware that getting one would be extremely challenging.
Then again....why not dream.


The certainties, even though not too many, are:

-I do not want to work in US, Asia or in any BRIC country
-I do not particularly want an Internship
-I want to start working in a place in which I will stay for the next 3-5 years
-I am not ok anymore with entry level positions (but this is somewhat relative)
-I want to do business traveling
-The company should be in an expanding or investing mode, focusing on growth and development

Each of these certainties are mirroring an aspect of my personality and character, so I think at least in this respect I am on the right track.

It will not be easy to find such an opportunity, but then........nothing that is worth having is ever easy to get (or keep).

What are your plans?

Day 78- In the forest of crossroads

The final thing that was not really complete in my life, the feeling of not having finished my experience in AIESEC, it is now a closed chapter.
And surprisingly, it only took seventy seven days.

I have given, I have grown, and I have changed.

What now?

Uncharacteristically for me, there is no plan.
No time line and no smart objective.
But there is something much better.

The vision of me in the future has become totally clear.

For me, a vision is actually the feeling that you want to have when thinking about yourself in the future.

To exemplify, this is how my medium-term vision of life used to looked like (created 2006-2007):



How does it look now?......now it is this and much more.

Now I have it clear for the long term also.


Connected with the notion of vision is that of personal objectives.
Having started two years ago to set them (clear, written on paper and made public) has been one of the greatest contributors to my development.
It might seem stupid, useless or "corporate", but I strongly believe that if you do not have a clear idea of where you want to get, wherever you end up is just as good.
Do you have clear objectives for yourself?

Negroponte was saying: "Until now I have been a light bulb. Now I have become a laser" with respect to his global One Laptop per Child initiative.

I am also starting to slowly focus into one.

Just as my new friend Dey is focusing also.
You have seen his name in the past in my blog, but just as a quick intro, he is one of the greatest presidents that AIESEC International has ever had, and a very philosophical character.

At this point he is focusing on finding a life partner.
Come to think of it.....who doesn't?

---------------------
Well, for one................ me.
Some years ago we found each other, and it kept evolving from then on.
Our story has been remarkable, and maybe some other time I will tell you about it.
---------------------

Coming back to the initial idea, at this point I am in the middle of the forest, wondering which way to go.
I know what is on the other side, but the journey of getting there is the most interesting part.

And to start it, I am now standing at the crossroads.
Known roads on one side, pathways rarely traveled on the other. Should I take one of them?
Or simply carve my own, personal path?



What would you do?





......right now I think I am just going to sit down for a bit, in the middle of it all, and just savor the indecisiveness.

Contemplate this incredible moment.........when everything that could be is everything that can be......... with the strands of alternative lives intertwining in a mind that is completely silent........and smile.

I deserve a break from decision making.

Day 76- Do people make you happy?

Amongst the many random gigabites of eBooks that I keep downloading, there was one called "100 ways to disappear and live your life".
Reading it...it slowly came to me.....a thought with which I have been playing in the past also..........wouldn't that be the first step to happiness?

As we are the mirror of what others see in us, the moments in which we are truly doing things for ourselves, for our deep inner self, are very rare.

No history, no background, just a pair of clothes, a name and yourself.
Could you do it?




You would say: No! I could not do it, because of the people I care about.

If so, when was the last time you said "i love you" to those few people?

Yesterday was, today there is no time, tomorrow the schedule is full......and thus time slowly flows away.....so you wake up one day realizing that you did not do it often enough.

Because I guarantee that you will.

Just spend time with any old person, and you will see how the closeness of death, the reality that your life is finite and that you are not immortal takes a sudden material form. And then priorities change dramatically.

We find time to argue, to complain and to ask for things, but not really enough to show our appreciation. Not even to ourselves.

Go home this evening with a flower and a kiss, smile and say "i love you".

As that flower wilts away, so will you.
Why not make someone happy in that process?