Day 158- Off to the beach

Well....it seems the year is now definitely over.
Vacation is here, and tomorrow I am leaving for Bavaro to get 14 days of "all inclusive" fun in the sun.

 

See you in 2009 :)

Day 156- Meet our ants

As you might have read in my blog in the past, we have tons of ants in our house.

I have identified three different species so far, and on of them bites us all night long :)

So, below you can see some of them carrying a dead fly straight across our living room.

Day 151- We have opened the MC 09-10 applications

If you are interested in my skills of using iMovie or seeing my groovy hair style, check out this movie :)


Part 1





Part 2

Day 147- Mac.....a computer that makes a difference

Taking advantage of the closeness to US and to being able to order on amazon.com, I bought a Mac (Macbook black, model from middle of 2008) at a much better price than in Europe.

In a word..........superb.


The Mac, through it's OS X Leopard operating system, offers such an easy, fluid and bug-free experience that after a few days of using your new Mac you begin to wonder why didn't you buy it yesterday.

Plus....I have also Windows installed on it, and it runs faster and better than on my PC laptop.


Apple gets a lot of hype, but on the other hand it does something that very few consumer companies do: it offers what it promises.

From iPod to iPhone or the famous Macbook, you expect a lot and you do get a lot.

So, for me.....by bye PC.


The era of the Mac has begun :)




P.S-And happy birthday Malina!

Day 138- Nothing much these days

Holidays are coming, people are more or less winding and slowing down, overall not a lot of things are hapenning.

On the 24th of December I will go on vacation to Playa Bavaro where she is coming to spend 14 days with me.

More or less that will be the highlight of this month.

Day 130- On nature and our history

In these times I get a lot reading done.

Just now, I finished a superb book called "A Short History of Everything".
It talks about, as its name suggest, a lot of things in a very understandable and common language.

I highly recommend it.

Along with that, I have also developed a keen interest in the Encyclopedia of Life.

Day 128- Romanian Night

Last night we did a Romanian Night for the people here, telling them a little about our country and also cooking for them more or less traditional food.

Malina cooked "chec" and I (also with her help) made "bulz cu carnati" or "mamaligutza cu branza si carne" as it is also called.

Big thank you goes to my grandmother for reminding me the recipe :)

Also, I realized that, even though everyone knows I do not particularly love my country, I felt a bit of pride when telling them about Nadia Comaneci and Steaua winning the Champions cup.

You can see all the pictures here.

Day 123-Christmas is here

Another cultural shock :)

On the radio, the cristmas songs are.....let's say different.

First of all, they are the same as all other "latino/spanish songs".

Second, they contain a lot the word "hot".
Which makes sense it you live in a place where the temperature is never below 25C :)

For us Europeans, that contributes to the "hot Christmas" depression, as it is agains our nature to imagine how a Christmas can be hot, sunny and sweaty.

Third, the advertising campaigns started from middle of October.
More than the others, it gives me a bad taste and makes me despise even more the americanized way of living.

Day 121-On the small pleasures of life

The shower thing is starting to get to me more and more.

In the past, it used to be the biggest small pleasure of everyday.

The only moment when I was with myself, undisturbed, relaxing under the soothing effect of the hot water. That generated in turn the silencing of the inner noise and an opportunity to clear my head.
Exactly because of that I think it was the moment when I used to have the biggest amount of "clarity moments" and creative ideas.

Now........I have only dread and discomfort when knowing I have to take the shower.

Main reason....ITS COLD.
Especially now, as the temperature gets gradually lower, it has become the moment of the day when I enter the bathroom frowning.

Once I start it, the only thing I can think of is how to make it more efficient so as to get out faster.

No ideas, no relaxation, just a race agains the shampoo and the soap.

Day 119- On being humble

A few days ago I wrote a recommendation to a friend.
He sent it back, asking me if I can change it, as it was not making him look good enough.


I have been thinking about something ever since I left Citibank.

How much to words really count when you talk about a job?
How do you manage to wake up and go to work everyday?
How can you do your best when you know nobody really cares, and what you do does not really matter?


For the last few months it has dawned on me: you cannot answer these questions while you think of it as a mere "job".

We spend more than half of our lives in "jobs", wasting our time doing things that do not make us happy.



I read once that to truly excel and be happy in your work you need to like it so much that you would do it without pay.

Would YOU do what you do today without pay?




For many years I thought about that saying as something that the fortunate say AFTER they have it.
After they have found that something, after they got the dream job.
At the end, when giving advices is the easiest thing in the world.
I also thought that you can only find that job by pure randomness , and only if you are "lucky".


But now I begin to think about it differently.

First......I now understand and accept that nothing in life will come to me for free.

Admittedly, most of what I have until now is because me and my family were fortunate.
But that can change in the blink of an eye.
In  a way, I sometimes think of my fortunate life in a spiteful way, because I think that because of this I have grown to be less strong and less determinate than I could have been.

And then I realize that I am using my energy on something I cannot change, and that is the past.

As such, I am looking towards the future.

The conclusion: I need to create the reality I want for myself, and in the same time accept the luck that I might or might not have.



Second..........I CAN create the reality I want.

Accepting this means that I will stop thinking of myself in such good terms.

Reading "Good to great", it struck me that by continuing to see myself as a high-results superstar and a bottom-line-only person, will help me become good.  Good but never great.

And it's not that I necessarily want to be great.
Because wanting to be great in the picture-in-times-magazine way eludes the whole point.

I want to be the best that I can be.
Continuing to see myself as the center of my universe will allow me to grow, but only until one point.
After that it will just keep me in a bubble of a self fulfilling prophecy.
I am getting a bit tired of this "americanized" way of looking at myself.

Call it age, wisdom or whatever, but I realize I have to stop being so full of my "greatness".


Coming back to the job part.
How does it all relate?

The world is a big place, filled to the brim with crappy positions and shitty jobs. That will not change.
It is a matter of luck and randomness to find the perfect job for yourself. That will not change.
You have big changes of never finding the perfect job. That will not change.

What will change is that I can be very honest first with myself, and then with my employer.
What will change is that I will focus on creating something valuable, something that really makes the world a better place. No matter how small or insignificant, it has to have purpose.
What will change is that if I will stay in a position, then every morning I will have a smile on my face.
What will change is that I will first give and then receive. I will first work and prove myself and then ask for proper reimbursement.
What will change is the fact that every time I will find myself in a place where I am not appreciated, or I cannot add value, I will simply move on.


And yes, I know what it means.


Maybe I will never have that perfect career track.
Maybe my CV will always look like a job portal.
Maybe I will find it increasingly harder and harder to get jobs.



But what are the options?


Climbing the "corporate ladder" by taking and giving bullshit all day?
Using the people below me as a step for the next position?
Back stabbing, front slapping and side punching?
Waiting anxiously for the heart attack at 50 because of too much stress?
Not being able to stand the face I see in the mirror?



In the end............ it is all about the journey.......about the search for that place in which you go to every morning, for pleasure, in which you are appreciated accordingly to your efforts, and in which you can stay for years, to create something real, something valuable....something good.



So, I say to my friend the same things I say to myself now: First give and then ask.

Leave aside the illusion that you are the best and stop thinking at yourself as THE MAN.
You are just another hot shot amongst many others like you.
Stop feeling "unappreciated" and just put your head down and get to work.
Be more humble.






Maybe we will both find what we are looking for.
Or maybe not.

At least you have been working everyday knowing that you are honest with yourself.

You will lose most of the time, I know for sure I did, you will get used most of the time, I know I was, but in the end what matters is the knowledge that you gave your best.

Everyday.

Day 117- The power of positive thinking

If you needed more proof that thinking positive does influence your life, take a look at this.

Something I never quite understood is why we, as rational beings, even though confronted with numerous cases and demonstrations that negative thoughts and emotions are not "constructive", keep having and indulging in them.

Maybe it is part of the equilibrium needed between positive and negative, the famous Ying and Yang, or maybe its just because we get bored of only one thing, liking more the variety in life.
It might sound stupid, but sometimes I really thing that that is the major reason for the lack of consistency in humans.

For me, the mindset has definitely changed.

As I was explaining to her a few days ago why I do not want to continue to render useless the moments that I live by filling them with negative emotions.

Words constitute one of the biggest generators of feelings, so I will try to stop using words that are negative in a obvious way.

I am not talking about transforming into Mother Theresa, but about all those small details and things that you say just because you got used to them.
All the nasty things, all the cruel cynical little comments, along with the sarcastic "words of wisdom".

For sure I am one of those sarcastic and cynical people, and as such I am now making a conscious effort to change.

How come this happened?

It is mostly because I now had the chance to truly understand, and more than that, I could actually feel the fact that life for most of the people on this world has a very low quality (when compared to the "civilized world").

I know that these people can and are happy, in their own way, but for me this realization came as a very strong question:

If I have in my life persons that love me, and I love them back, and if I have the power to create value for others, and I have a body that is healthy, and I have the mind to understand all of the above......then why do I keep complaining?


You might read these lines and think that I am transforming into a "hippie".
It might be true.

Regardless of that, my decision is made.

Maybe tomorrow, or maybe in years....that is not as important as the fact that I will stop complaining about what I do not have and focus on what I have and on what I can improve.

About my life, about myslef and about what I have around me.

Day 114- Bahia de la Aguilas and driving skills

Today we went on the 6 hours trip (one way only) to see the nicest, most beautiful, natural and unspoiled beaches in the whole of Dominican Republic.

How was it?

Sand, sea and sun.
Nothing special, just.....what you would expect from a normal beach, with normal sand...and sun....and water.

I do have to admit that there were less people than at the other beaches and that the boat trip to get to the beach was different than your normal "let's go to the beach experience".

The trip to see a thing such as Bahia de las Aguilas is definitely NOT worth it.



Buuuuuut, I have had joy to live the worst driving experience ever, contributing, this time for good, to my decision of not going in cars that I do not drive myself.

We went 11 people in two 4X4's , one of them driven by a Dominican guy and the other driven by a Colombian.
With the Dominican, it all makes sense, as for them is normal not to have even a minimum common sense or fear of dangers, or knowledge of proper driving techniques and etiquette.
With the Colombian, let's just say that he had absolutely ZERO consideration for potential dangers.

Imagine two children put behind a wheel for the first time, trying to show off and prove their manliness by pushing the accelerator.
Bear in mind not even in a proper mechanical gearbox car but in lazy american-like automatics.
Brainless pressing of the pedal.
None of them knew the cars, but we sped with 160km/h on roads filled with pigs, cows and people on motorcycles.


At one time, we even spun out of control on a side road and stopped about one meter short of hitting a concrete pillar.

But that is nothing compared to the "creamy" experience of entering a curve on the opposite side, and staying there until you get out of the curve.
With no visibility.
And I am not talking about something that happened once or twice, but in EVERY curve.


Really, it is amazing for me how these people still manage to survive every day with such a high level of intelligence, preparation for the future and sense of danger.

Bear in mind that this is the second time this happens to me while going with a Dominican driver in the Dominican Republic.
This raises some questions about my own level of intelligence right?

Now that I think about it.....it makes sense.
How can you know how to properly drive if all your experience in based on moving around all day in the city at 60km/h?

Thank God that this is an island and most of these specimens cannot escape from here.



12 hours of pure butt-clenching pleasure, and 1 hour on a beach.
That was my day.



Overall a crappy weekend, with life threatening situations and lots of "bad vibes".


Well......at least I did the only thing I really wanted to do before leaving this place.

Day 113- I....always I

In case you did not notice until now, I am a very “I” person.
In my blog, the word with highest number of appearances is “I“.

Actually, I remember someone once told me that I should stop writing my emails with so many “I”, as it makes the reader slightly uncomfortable.

So, what do  I do? How do I make my writing to be about “You”?

Really, it has been a question to which the answer keeps eluding me every time.

My individualistic character is so strong that I really struggle with finding other words or structuring the sentences differently so that I do not have to use “I”.


Did you notice this while reading my blog?
If so, does it bother you?
And if yes, what do you suggest I do about it?

Day 111-On the difference in quality of life

What  do you mean when you say that “the quality of life in X country is lower/higher than in Y”?

I am not talking about the textbook explanation, but about things that have a real impact on you when living in another place.

In my case, as living in Latin America for three months already, the difference is very significant and it is slowly starting to get to me.

Come to think about it, the best way to describe it is to say that its all in the details.
For example, the way in which the cashier at the supermarket looks and talks to you.
Or they way in which people talk to each other.
Or the way in which the electricity goes out for 4 hours every single day.

It really is a very subjective discussion, but what is clear for me is that I do not want to live in a place where every small detail annoys and stresses me.

You might say it is all part of the famous “cultural shocks” that we keep talking about in AIESEC, and I agree with you that it is.

But that does not mean that I have to like or accept these "differences".

In the end, I believe it comes down to how much you are willing to compromise, and if you have a real choice or not.

So, today’s question to my readers that have/had cultural shocks, is:

Where did you draw the line between being willing to adapt and refusing to compromise?

Day 108- Good to great

I am now reading this book called “Good to great”, after reading it's review in Marius Ghenea's blog.

The author (Jim Collins) discusses his findings from the research of the ways in which good companies become great.

I have read a lot of business books, but I have to admit this is one of the best.

A no-bullshit, down to earth explanation for how true success is created.

Something nice is that, because it was written somewhere in the beginning of the 2000s, you can now look in retrospective and see how some companies presented in the book evolved since (for example Fannie Mae, regarded by some as the source of the present global financial crisis).

Another reason why I think I like it so much is that is rings true with my own view on these subjects.

I really recommend you read it.

Day 104- On mothers, creating realities and building characters

How much has your mother influenced your life?

I watched Ray, and it made me remember about how important are mothers in our life.
The same as after watching Forrest Gump, what remains in my mind, deeply ingrained in my consciousness, is not the main character with his achievements, greatness or failure, but the attitude of his mother.

Everything you are, from how your head is shaped to how disciplined you are, from how you are walking to the way you think and feel, all of it was influenced by her.
Your whole existence is traced back to your childhood and your parents, with an enormous effect from the person that gave you life.

It is not that fathers are less important, but because your mother has created for you a reality in a time where you could not, her effect on you was much more than that of your fathers.
She has shown you the way the world works, and through her paradigms you are destined to live your life.
There are special cases, I know that, but the vast majority of us develop in this way.

We can indeed change ourselves at any time, but how crucially important is the way in which our mothers behaved and lived their own lives until the time they had us, and thus the advices and believes they transferred.

For me at least, my mother is the one that made me what I am.
I know that she will read these lines and smile, and that she understands this better than I do.
And so does your mother.

Why am I writing these lines?
Not as a monument to mothers, but because I am wondering.
Wondering how will my personality, and the way in which I live and understand my life, affect the development of my children.

You can say that, being 22, I still have enough time to think about that.

But is that true?

We are who we are because we behaved in the same way for all the sum of the moments passed.
We are who we are because at each step of the way, we understood the world through the paradigms we gained in the past.

Now is as good a moment as any to think about this.

I will be a father one day, and all I am now and how I will behave until that moment will dictate my effect on my children.

Yes, parents grow and get wiser with the growth of their children, but it makes an incredible difference the way you are in those first "reality creating" years.

Start building today the image of how you want to be as a parent, and by the time it will really happen, when you will need to step up to the task for real, you will be ready.

In the end, my question for you girls that are reading my blog, the future character creators and life-shapers:

How do YOU want to be as a mother?

Day 102- On why the sun does not allow you to be sad

In the land of the eternal sun, all is good.

Only that....well.......there is a small thing......you cannot........... be sad.
The sun, with its daily comforting shininess, does not let you savor and revel in the occasional melancholy.

What is wrong with being happy all the time? I don't know, but it just does not feel right, and after some time it starts getting to you. And with the hurricane season almost over now, no hope at all for dark clouds.

Probably if I would have been born here, I would not feel that strange. But I do.

All this constant sense of "all is good" that I get from the bright sun makes me feel more and more uncomfortable.

Its like a bubble is created around this place, making it immune from all the sadness in the world.
Like a shield, protecting its inhabitants from bad feelings.



Me and my mother kept discussing some time ago the reasons why being in paradise would be a boring experience.

This place does seem to be that way, with happy and content people everywhere, lush vegetation all around, birds singing and all that.

After experiencing it for some time now, it seems we were right.

Can you please send some autumn this way?
I would appreciate it a lot.
If not....there are big chances I will go totally crazy with happiness, as can be seen :)

Day 100- Looking back

One hundred days gone by now.

Looking back, the fact that I write this blog has been a very rewarding experience.
I managed to achieve an objective I had but was not stated, that of having a post every two days.
On average, I did it.
Friends that I have not heard from for a very long time email me to tell me how much they like it, people that are close to me appreciate the openness and honesty of my posts, other people I have never met are constantly reading it also.
Overall, I truly feel that I have kept in contact with everyone.

On the other hand, a strage thing is happening.
Every time someone asks me how it is here, I feel a sudden tiredness and uselessness in telling the whole story again, so I just point them here.
In  a way it has kept me close to you, but in another it will distance me from everyone elese in the future who wants to know how it was for me to be living and working here.


Good or bad, it does not matter.
It is an experience, and it was worth it.

As such, I decided to continue to have blogs, as a permanent replacement of my paper-based diary.

I want to invite you also to discover more about me and my journey with the Violin.

Thank you for reading, and see you again in another 100 days.

Day 99- Lideres formando Lideres

This weekend we had our first visible and public result as a team.

It was called "Ser Mas- Lideres formando Lideres" (Be More- Leaders creating Leaders), and it was targeted for young people wanting to learn more about leadership and about AIESEC.

A very nice experience, and rewarding also.

Day 98- Dominican Republic from another point of view

My first trainee matched and realized in AIESEC arrived here 3 weeks ago :)

Below you can see a movie that he made for his Local Committee back home with impressions from here.

Day 96- I can see clearly now, the rain is gone....

You know that feeling of purposefulness, of knowing exactly what you want?
Well, I have it again.

It's about a special place for me. Vienna
It's about starting my life-long journey with arts. The Violin
It's about her. No matter where life takes us
It's about living. Simply, directly and without stress
It's about happiness. Which comes only from within me

It's not only about work and money anymore, at least not for now.


As with most of the things in life, someone in the past managed to find a way to transmit it better than me, so I will let you enjoy.

:)

Day 95- Exclusive fotos of the elusive "carrito publico"

As promised, here are the pictures with the infamous carritos publicos that I keep telling you about.

Enjoy them, as I sure do :/

 

 

The scotch holding the mirror together is more real than it appears.

  

  

  

Notice the wind blowing so smooth through my hair. Never mind the spare wheel in the back. 

  

Here, please pay special attention to the "tuned sport" type of door.

The low rider :)

So, now I have also shared with you one of the most common pleasures you can enjoy in Dominican Republic.

Day 93- Thank you Oana

There are special people you meet, if you are fortunate enough, with whom you simply connect.
Purely, without effort or thought, it seems you have known them all your life.

Like diamonds buried deep within the black earth, one day, by pure fortune, you encounter them.
And from that point on, you are never the same.



Like books.

You read one, and it makes you think.

You read a good one, and you get totally immersed.

You read a fantastic one............... and your mind stands still. Feeling things that you did not know were there, your soul making new and unimaginable connections while moving you through time, space and consciousness.

You read a fantastic one in the right time of your life, and it changes it forever.



Thank you Oana for the conversations, for the insights, for everything, but most of all for giving me fantastic books at right times.

Day 92- On teams of people....or people teams?

This past few days have been filled with honesty, passion and dreams for the future.

It is hard to believe in something, but all you need is to start.
After that, it comes naturally.

Saying the truth -the whole truth- is never an easy or pleasant experience.
Our team of five has found out this fact during this weekend..
We have shared, we have admitted and deep within us we have also committed.

To following our hearts, to results and to the future of AIESEC in this country.

Simply put, now its really up to us to make things happen.

Day 89- Becoming a vegetable?

I am spending most of my days in front of the laptop.
It is a nice experience, as it gives me time to do things that I could not in the past.
Do proper blogging, download eBooks, do more research, freely surf the web.

On the other hand, I feel more or less like the author of this article.
And the surprising thing is that even though I have relatively sufficient time for myself (as opposed to how my days used to look in Citi), I tend not to use it wisely.

Changes must occur.
As such, I will begin to modify my behavior and allocate time during the day for exercises, normal reading and time to contemplate.

How are you spending your days?

Day 87- Autumn coming to the Caribbean

How do you know autumn has come? The cold showers are not that pleasant anymore.
As you have more or less the same temperature during summer (around 30C with lots of humidity), your body is becoming accustomed to that.
Now as the temperature changes, you really feel the cold. By cold I mean 25 degrees Celsius.

So you CAN feel the coldness in the Caribbeans :)

Day 85- Tying the loose ends

It seems that I am cleaning my soul here.
I just finished doing something that I should have done a long, long time ago: I said another thank you.

Don't know how I will look like when leaving this place, but it is becoming clear for me that it will a very different person than the one that came here.
Lighter, with no loose ends or unsolved things.

Most of the people do this when they are told they are going to die.
It is called "putting order in your life".

My suggestion: do it right now.

Make that call, have that meeting, say those words.

It is never too late (or too early) to put light on the shadows, to tie the loose ends and to lighten yourself from the burdens.

Live every day as if it were your last and then some day you'll be right.
~H.H. "Breaker" Morant

Day 83- Blogs I follow and weird facts about me

As you enjoy keeping up with my posts in this blog, so do I carefully read a few others.

Here they are, in a random order:

1-Freakonomics, from the authors of the book with the same name. Although most of the posts are from collaborators (no the authors themselves), they are extremely interesting, though focused a lot on the US reality.

2-The Happiness Project, a question-raising blog/journal of someone in search of happiness.

3-eDragonu, the story of a successful Romanian entrepreneur who has decided to sell everything and move to New Zealand.

4-Live Love Laugh, the blog of an old friend from AIESEC Bucharest, always with a smile on her face.

5-Sara's journal, where she should write more often. I met her at IC in Brazil where we had a very nice conversation at the end of a long pre-meeting day. Thanks

6- : , a very interesting concept for a blog from a very interesting person. She seems to keep a journal of her raw emotions, without needing to make sense to the outside world.
I kinda feel like that's how my blog would look like if I did not take the trouble to explain myself. Also, I am anxiously awaiting for the ")" after the ":"............or maybe just "|"?

7-Lanny Goodman's Strategic Insights, which althought it seems to be used mainly as a self promoting blog, it really did offer me some real insights into some aspects that I could not properly identify until then.

Now, about those seven weird facts about me that I am supposed to "confess":

1-Even thought it is important for me to properly transmit messages when talking, most of the times I do not bother to "package" the message in a way in which my conversation partner can easily understand. I just say things as I think them, with complete honesty.

2-I have to listen to music to feel good, and I can control how I feel with the music I play.
Thus, my ears are covered with the headphones at all times.

3-I have an obsession about not wasting my time and living every moment, but still I spend a lot of time being upset about different things.

4-I want to live in the present, but most of the time I live for my plans, dreams and objectives. That is one of the things that I struggle hard to change.

5-I speak almost perfect English, but I do not bother to have also an accent.
And I do not want to. That's why my English sounds very Eastern European/Russian.....and admittedly kind of "irritating" (even for myself).

6-I have very few friends, but do not want more.

7-Most of my conversations are so open and honest that even people that know me sometimes cannot take it :)

Day 82- The day I fell in love

with the violin.

The morning started with reading this article about the way in which we are superficial in assessing beauty.

After that, all the day was an obsessive search for information about this instrument that has me totally enthralled.
And of course all happening in the godly chimes and tunes generated by the skillful hands of Joshua Bell.

I decided, and thus set as an objective, to save money to buy a violin and get lessons as soon as I go back to Europe (as it turns out, Romanians used to be the top violin makers in the past).

Even though I will probably never become a master, it does not matter.
I just want to learn and be able to play for myself and my own pleasure.

funny....that happens also with writing......and loving.....and working.....and relating to people....

It seems that I am living only for myself :)

Day 80- Climbing mountains outside is climbing mountains inside

that is what someone used to say.
I saw today a tv commercial with him.....and it made me think again about what I really want to do further.

Yesterday I read a very interesting post in a blog called The Happiness Project that reminded me about sunscreen.



So.....how do you know what is the best way to proceed?
You do not.

At this point I know for sure that I want Germany, France or Austria as countries and maybe Norway (only for a very interesting opportunity).
In terms of geographical position I am decided.


I used to want to go back in banking, but as it turns out with the global situation, doing that would be like wanting to get hired as a personal assistant to a terminally ill person :)

There is no clarity in my mind regarding the industry in which I want to be, but I do have some perfect jobs in mind.

-Assistant to CEO in a company that is expanding globally.
-Working in a publicly unknown Venture Capital fund that has a very large investment capacity.
-Business Development for a company that works in or connected to recycling.
-Working in a company that focuses on developing ways of marketing alternative energy solutions.

They are perfect jobs because I am aware that getting one would be extremely challenging.
Then again....why not dream.


The certainties, even though not too many, are:

-I do not want to work in US, Asia or in any BRIC country
-I do not particularly want an Internship
-I want to start working in a place in which I will stay for the next 3-5 years
-I am not ok anymore with entry level positions (but this is somewhat relative)
-I want to do business traveling
-The company should be in an expanding or investing mode, focusing on growth and development

Each of these certainties are mirroring an aspect of my personality and character, so I think at least in this respect I am on the right track.

It will not be easy to find such an opportunity, but then........nothing that is worth having is ever easy to get (or keep).

What are your plans?

Day 78- In the forest of crossroads

The final thing that was not really complete in my life, the feeling of not having finished my experience in AIESEC, it is now a closed chapter.
And surprisingly, it only took seventy seven days.

I have given, I have grown, and I have changed.

What now?

Uncharacteristically for me, there is no plan.
No time line and no smart objective.
But there is something much better.

The vision of me in the future has become totally clear.

For me, a vision is actually the feeling that you want to have when thinking about yourself in the future.

To exemplify, this is how my medium-term vision of life used to looked like (created 2006-2007):



How does it look now?......now it is this and much more.

Now I have it clear for the long term also.


Connected with the notion of vision is that of personal objectives.
Having started two years ago to set them (clear, written on paper and made public) has been one of the greatest contributors to my development.
It might seem stupid, useless or "corporate", but I strongly believe that if you do not have a clear idea of where you want to get, wherever you end up is just as good.
Do you have clear objectives for yourself?

Negroponte was saying: "Until now I have been a light bulb. Now I have become a laser" with respect to his global One Laptop per Child initiative.

I am also starting to slowly focus into one.

Just as my new friend Dey is focusing also.
You have seen his name in the past in my blog, but just as a quick intro, he is one of the greatest presidents that AIESEC International has ever had, and a very philosophical character.

At this point he is focusing on finding a life partner.
Come to think of it.....who doesn't?

---------------------
Well, for one................ me.
Some years ago we found each other, and it kept evolving from then on.
Our story has been remarkable, and maybe some other time I will tell you about it.
---------------------

Coming back to the initial idea, at this point I am in the middle of the forest, wondering which way to go.
I know what is on the other side, but the journey of getting there is the most interesting part.

And to start it, I am now standing at the crossroads.
Known roads on one side, pathways rarely traveled on the other. Should I take one of them?
Or simply carve my own, personal path?



What would you do?





......right now I think I am just going to sit down for a bit, in the middle of it all, and just savor the indecisiveness.

Contemplate this incredible moment.........when everything that could be is everything that can be......... with the strands of alternative lives intertwining in a mind that is completely silent........and smile.

I deserve a break from decision making.

Day 76- Do people make you happy?

Amongst the many random gigabites of eBooks that I keep downloading, there was one called "100 ways to disappear and live your life".
Reading it...it slowly came to me.....a thought with which I have been playing in the past also..........wouldn't that be the first step to happiness?

As we are the mirror of what others see in us, the moments in which we are truly doing things for ourselves, for our deep inner self, are very rare.

No history, no background, just a pair of clothes, a name and yourself.
Could you do it?




You would say: No! I could not do it, because of the people I care about.

If so, when was the last time you said "i love you" to those few people?

Yesterday was, today there is no time, tomorrow the schedule is full......and thus time slowly flows away.....so you wake up one day realizing that you did not do it often enough.

Because I guarantee that you will.

Just spend time with any old person, and you will see how the closeness of death, the reality that your life is finite and that you are not immortal takes a sudden material form. And then priorities change dramatically.

We find time to argue, to complain and to ask for things, but not really enough to show our appreciation. Not even to ourselves.

Go home this evening with a flower and a kiss, smile and say "i love you".

As that flower wilts away, so will you.
Why not make someone happy in that process?

Day 73- Too good

If you start believing you are too good, and there is no one around to prove you wrong, move on.

You really are too good.

Day 72- Botanical gardens

Yesterday we went to visit the botanical gardens.
I can confidently say that it is one of the nicest places you can see inside the city, with lush vegetation, no garbage and no cars.

Also, we saw a lot of very nice Orchids :)

Here is the album, and below you have some pictures.

Day 71- What do YOU do in your free time?

I have come to discover that one of the nicest things that happens when you are away from family and friends and all that you know is that you get to spend a lot of time with yourself.

And when you do that, you tend to behave in the way that is natural to you: some people sleep a lot, others go out in the city, others do all sorts of crazy things, and people like myself spend a lot of time browsing through the internet.

It is called "browsing", but I notice that for me it is a particular recurring pattern that I will call "topic jumping" (which I begun to refine starting at around the time I entered university).

As an example, I start by reading about something related to the mortgage crisis, go to Wikipedia to research it, then see an interesting link about a certain historical figure- click_open in new window-, then read about him and see an interesting link about undersea life- click_open in new window- then reading about that I see another thing about an impressionist painter- click_open in new window- and on it goes.

After about one hour of topic jumping I get a dozen new windows open, each about a different subject.

And then the fun part starts for me.
Having those browser windows open, in each of them I open tabs while reading more and more information (and I will never be grateful enough for Mozilla and its ability to restore your session in case your comp. crashes).

At this point, I stop "topic jumping" and just read a lot about that subject, until I get to understand it at least at a conceptual level.
Of course, in case I need that info in the future, I nicely bookmark the websites in a neatly categorized bookmark folder system (with a live back-up on the web) .

Four hours later I look at the clock and its already 2am :)

I have no idea if it is just me or everyone does it, but I see it connected with my "encyclopedic" way of thinking and understanding the world around me.

And yes, I am aware that being and encyclopedic person used to be "posh" in the 1800s.
Current paradigm is "expertise", with everyone insisting on you being specialized and focused on a specific and narrow area of expertise.

Truth is that I cannot really spend my time thinking about one single thing. I focus and do things, but then my mind wanders in different places. Kinda like this guy.
I like to learn a lot of things about everything, from growing orchids to model rockets and building your own steam powered boat.

I am sure that overall, looking at what is appreciated in the world right now, there are few chances for me to become "a true" expert on anything.

On the other hand, you should only do the things that make you feel good and screw the popular thinking :)

So, here is what I discovered tonight.
Although I am not a fan on Microsoft, after WorldWideTelescope I have begun to take a different view on their work.
Now, with Photosynth, I think I am very close to becoming one :)

Here is a TED talk about Photosynth



and one about the WorldWideTelescope, if you did not happen to be in my mailing list a few months ago.

Day 70- Key to perseverance

How happy would you feel to know that you would have a perseverance indicator?
Something to tell you when you are not keeping up with your commitments?
Something that just stays there until you act?

Well....I have. It is called "my back".

Most probably it is from the shape and design of the school benches in which I spent 12 years studying in.
Add to that the fact that, when being small, I used to be more on the geeky reading side than the sports side, and voila. My spine did not grow quite straight (like this but only not that serious)
Its not crooked in a very "curvy" manner, but just enough as not to be straight.

Also it might be just the fact that there was something wrong with me to begin with :)

Anyway, I present you my perseverence barometer.

When it starts to hurt it means that I have spent more than 2 weeks without going swimming (which until now has proven to be the best solution to make the pain away).

Like an alarm clock, it lets me know I have been slacking off.

Good thing: you cannot snooze, cancel or "flag" it as a "to do for later"
Bad thing: it hurts constantly, every second, and it gets worse as time passes without me acting.

I can already see myself in 30 years, on a stage at a world renowned conference, on the screen behind me projected with big white letters "my success story", and me saying casually:

"Really, it was all in the back"

Others- You need but just one dream......

A movie that I watched several times in the past two years, and it always manages to bring me close to tears :/

Day 68- Technology Engineering and Design

You might have noticed the new link to TED on my blog.
The decision to place it came as a consequence of me noticing how I keep recommending it to everyone I meet.

For me, it is one of the very few ways to come out of the depression created by the uselessness and frustration with the world.
Some of those talks really blow your mind away, and keep you thinking about that subject for days.

Here is a sample:

Day 66- Personal decisions.....they make the world go 'round

What separates who you are from who you want to be is explained by a single word.

Determination

Living and working here, it strikes me continuously, day by day and for more and more people, the total lack of it.
Maybe its a reminiscence of history, maybe its genetic heritage, maybe it's the "latino way", I have no idea.
But it is clear as day: on the average, the determination is present within young people here much less than in Europe.

The past week was a normal one, compared with the normal distribution, with a lot more failures than successes, and with strong disappointments.

Still it is hard for me to figure out why I get disappointed.

Its not like I normally have high expectations from people, because I do not.
I begin by considering everyone around me average, and then working them up or down my internal scale of "intelligence". As the process of getting to know each other advances, so does my opinion and interest in them.
Giving everyone a second chance, I try to make sure that my usual tendency of labeling people does not stop me from treating them fair or "missing" someone that might be at least an interesting conversation.

And still, when they prove their averagenes, and in some cases much worse, I feel totally disappointed.
Its like something breaks in me every time another person shows me what I already know: there are so few truly great people in this world, at this moment, that statistically it is almost impossible to meet them.
Even though I have had the luck of meeting one or two of them, I do not appreciate it and want always more. My mother will now say that without this trait humanity would not have come out of the stone age.

Similarly to a dog that will eat as much as you feed it, I want more and more great people around me, and I also get upset when the reality proves different.
In this regard perhaps I am also a bit on the stupid side right?

Stop having expectations from people is the obvious answer. "In this way, you will be glad when you get surprised and just happy when they prove the contrary" someone once told me.
Even though I kept thinking about it every time I get a disappointment, it seems that I am not capable of doing it.

Why? Because I have such big expectations from myself that, organically, I feel that people around me should be more than average.

At one point in my life, in one of those moments when you are completely honest with yourself, I accepted the following challenge: prove that you are a great individual and then you can have expectations from the ones around you.
As Gandhi said: "How can I judge others when I know how hard I fight with my own demons?".

So I started to fight my demons, and as small victories started to emerge, so did my subconscious expectation that the ones around me have to "deserve" me.

That's reason one, and the most important.

The second is that I assign so much importance to every moment of my life that I literally hate people and situations that waste them.
In the end, for me its a strong internal value: respect my time and I will respect you.
Simple yet very hard to enact and respect.

This becme crystal clear for me when, a few days ago, someone asked me why don't I do something that was in my power, for the good of my team, but in a unfair and unjust manner to the other party involved.
In an instant, as my brain (which seems to be very empathic) processed all the implications, my stomach started feeling strange and a strong sense of indignation took me by surprise.

So, it seems that I do have principles, even though I know some people that do not believe this.

Should I stop having expectations from the people around me?
Yes, because otherwise, considering it all, its clear that I will be constantly disappointed.
No, because if I do, I will not have the chance to meet those fantastic few people that make it all worth it.

For now, I decided to continue on this frustrating road, and ask of others a minimum level of intelligence, according to my own standards and measures.
If they don't conform, and I do not care enough to make them change, then I will stop wasting my time and move on.

It is said that it does not really matter in life if you take good or bad decisions.
The most important thing is to commit and take a decision, any.
If it proves to be the bad one then change and improve.
Never be undecided.

My friends in trading will smile while reading this last sentence, as they are amongst the few people in the world that need to take a decision no matter what happens, how much information they have or how undecided they are.

What if we could all act like traders do with the important decisions of our daily lives?

Day 64- On the speed of time

It flows differently here. Maybe its because all my life changed, with my reality being almost recreated. Or maybe because time now really flows at another speed.

Sixty four days have passed since I stepped out of that plane, unclear and uncertain, with my soul as calm as the sea without any wind.
Now...............the sea is tormented by ever changing storms, moving everything and everyone to new and unknown shores.
Strangely the future is more clear for me than it has ever been.

----
I am writing this post as this evening I have read again Eminescu. Bringing this book along with me may have just been the most important decision I made in a very long time.
----

Sixty four.....it really does not mean anything for my own, internal, time span.

Looking at how my knowledge about myself has changed, it could very well have been six hundred forty years.

I am not what I used to be, and will never be again.
Writing this sentence makes me sad and happy at the same time, the realization of it dividing me between the nostalgia of moments long gone and the joy of moments to come.

----
I do not understand the river yet, but I have begun to hear it.
----

Being sick brought the realization that music changes my spirits in such a way that is almost scary.
Being away from everyone I have ever loved brought the realization of how important they are for me.
Being out of control brought the realization of how much I depend on others, and how fantastic the connections with them can be if you just let go.
Being at the edge of education and development brought the realization of how big is the gap between Europe and the rest of the world.
Wanting to write as much as possible to the world I realized that the only person who can really read these lines is me.

I struggled enormously to not let myself get lost......though it still happens.
Now............. it is clear that I have no chance to succeed in this endeavor.
Not because there is a lack of care or attention, but simply because.......I never had me.

And thus there was actually nothing to lose.

On the surface I look, act and behave almost the same as I did when getting off that plane.
Now..............looking in the mirror........the other side stares back strangely, as if not recognizing me.

Those who have gone through a similar experience will read these lines with a slight smile on their face, neither of joy nor sadness......perhaps thinking of how they left themselves in those places also.

Those who did not, driven by the need to make sense out of everything, make themselves believe they understand the few lines above.
To you I tell, without any shadow of superiority or condescension, that you don't.

I could end by saying that now I am rediscovered, fundamentally changed and totally different, revealed to myself in all splendor and glory.

Truth is that I may never know who I am.

What I can say for sure is that for sixty four sunrises I woke up feeling differently, and for sixty four sunsets I have gone to sleep wondering what is happening to me.

Day 62- Rain...and then sun...and then rain..

Nothing much happening lately, besides the unpredictable rain showers (at least two times per day). 

We are starting to get busier and busier in AIESEC, which is very good, and I am still learning more and more about Dominican Republic (especially about working with locals).

My Spanish is improving, although not as fast as I would want. Probably because I am not studying at all :/

Also, as now autumn is coming to Europe, and everyone is telling me how cold it is, I am starting to miss it a lot. You kind of get sick of sunshine and blue sky all day :)

Anyway.....next few weeks will be a very intense period for all of us here, so I will keep you updated.

Day 54- Back from IC part 2

As I was telling you, Caracas was a very interesting experience for me. We went with the -now state owned- cable car to the top of one of the hills, from where you can see all Carcas. The view is breath taking:

Overall, Caracas was a much more pleasant experience than Sao Paulo, and it was made such by the hospitality and the care of the great guys and girls there.

Now, coming back to our adventure, we were supposed to leave with the charter from Caracas to Punta Cana on Sunday 7th of September.

What do we find out on Saturday morning? That the charter does no longer have any free seats, as it is full of turists.

Because of the hurricane Gustav they had to cancel the flight on the previous Sunday (as the charter only flies on Sunday to DR), and as such they filled the plane with the turists from last week. As we did not have proper flight tickets for the plane (only the special arrangement with the alumnus) we could not do anything about getting seats.

Our only available options were to either wait for a week more and try to get seats in the next charter (which could not be guaranteed) or to pay 450USD for a ticket to Santo Domingo.

So, a serious whole in the finances and finnaly we are home.

After three weeks spend traveling half of the continent, visiting two very nice cities and attending the largest AIESEC conference, here I am back in the Caribbean, "living and working in the Dominican Republic for one year".

Day 53- Thunder rocks the house

Ever since we came back it has rained almost continuously (because of hurricane Ike and also because it is rainy season). 

But last night happened something that I never experienced before, and that is thunder that was so strong that made our windows move. 

Like in the horror movies, the windows were vibrating, along with the doors of the furniture. 

Maybe it was because of the cloud ceiling that was very close to earth, as if you could practically touch them.

Interesting things happen in the Caribbean all the time :)

Day 51- Back from IC part 1

At last I am back in Santo Domingo, which could be called home for me now.

To make it clear, our initial plan when going to IC in Brazil was like this:

-leave from Dominican Republic on a charter that takes off from Punta Cana (DR's largest vacation resort, which is at about 4h distance from Santo Domingo) and lands in Caracas, Venezuela.

Our seats on this charter were offered by a supportive alumni, which promised us also return seats.

-stay for a few hours in Caracas, until we needed to catch the next plane to Sao Paulo

-on the 30th of August, after the IC is over, stay and visit Sao Paulo until the 4th, when we had a plane back to Caracas

-stay in Caracas for three days and then catch the charter with the special "agreement" back to Punta Cana in DR on the 7th of September

The nice experiences started on the way from Santo Domingo to Punta Cana, when we were extremely close to losing the plane as we got lost on the way to Punta Cana.

Fortunately, we made it on time and caught it in the the last second.

In Caracas we were greeted by some extremely nice people (thank you Thais and family, Bernardo, Anita, Mauro, Daniel, Mark, Ricardo) which took us from the airport and hosted us for a few hours until our plane left again to Sao Paulo.

IC.....this conference was for me a very interesting experience.

Mainly because I was very sick starting with the 4th day and lasting for another about 5 days.

39 temperature for two days in a row, severe dehydration, and of course a trip to the hospital.
I did not really want the hospital part, but as some point I understood that it was not just a severe cold and that I needed help besides my normal medication.

As it turned out, it was an infection in my throat that caused the illness.

After getting slightly better, and by better I mean able to walk, the conference started to mean something also for me.
Although, not as you might think, as I did not really go to sessions, I was only at the last party and I did not really have any attraction to talk to a lot of people.

Overall, this experience saw me getting more pragmatic and a bit sadder than usual.
An interesting way of feeling, and a new challenge for me.

After the conference ended, I went to a hostel for the next five days (actually two different hostels), alone, as Malina went to visit Rio de Janeiro.

This time was dedicated to visiting Sao Paulo and getting to feel the Brazilian way of living.

First impression is that the city is HUGE (and it really is, the fourth largest city in the world, 17m people), with

very large building everywhere.
A lot of traffic, noticeable pollution and people from all over the world.
I actually do not know how a Brazilian looks like, because all the people are so different.
As we found our during a presentation of Brazil at IC, on the black market the passport of Brazil is the most expensive one, because everyone can look like a Brazilian :)

So you can imagine the diversity and mix of people.
It is also very developed, an obvious sign being that it has an extremely large number of private helicopters flying all around, with almost every large office building having a heliport.

As a whole I liked Sao Paulo, as it made me realize how I really feel about Latin America, and gave concreteness to my plans for the next few years.

What impressed me most while seeing Sao Paulo was the feeling of being truly alone, as it was the first time in my life when I really did not know anybody around me.
An interesting and revealing experience, showing me how important is the comfort zone to be happy and how much more I need to appreciate people that really care about me.

On the 4th I left Sao Paulo, heading for the three days stay in Caracas.

The city is extremely nice, with very tall buildings (from what I saw, their average floor number in buildings is 20), an extremely green chain of mountains surrounding and overlooking the city (a national park called Avila) and lots of cars.

Venezuela, the place where filling a tank of gas is cheaper than water (less than 1$ for about 70litres of gas), is also a very interesting place.

The main thing you feel is that the Chavez regime is very similar to communism, constraining the people and the market place.

For example, to buy a new car you have to put your name on a list, as every car importing company can only import 100 cars per month.

You cannot buy or sell dollars in the country without asking permission.

The state BUYS companies instead of selling them.

The government changed the official hour of the country, taking it back with 30 minutes from the normal GMT hour!!!!!!!!!!

They changed the coat of arms of Caracas from a horse looking to the right to one looking to the left (as they are leftists).

This and many more made me realize that this is maybe how Romania felt before 89', and also to realize that if I would have lived then I would have left the country for sure.
As I will not ever want to live in Venezuela either.

But, as there is always a but, the people and the capital are extremely nice.
Beautiful, in the figurative and in the proper sense also, in terms of treating visitors and living life.

What I expected to see and was not really true for me is that they are supposed to have the nicest women in Latin America, which I expected to be nicer than Romanian women.

But....that is not really true. We have much nicer women :)

And, in the end of this initial post of my experience traveling through Latin America, I would like to share the biggest surprise of the trip so far: they have Logan in Venezuela (and also in Brazil) :)

More info about the trip and the adventure of returning back to Dominican Republic in the next post.

Day 28- Leaving for the International Congress

Thanks to the help of our fabulous Alumni (one of which will receive the Global Award for Alumni Involvement, awarded each year to the Alumni that had the most impactful support in the global AIESEC network), tomorrow morning I will be leaving for AIESEC's largest yearly conference, the International Congress, along with Malina-our MCP and Jose-Local Committee President of AIESEC Santo Domingo.

I will be back on the 7th of September, traveling for 1 week through Caracas in Venezuela, Lima in Peru and Sao Paolo in Brazil and 2 weeks in the conference itself. Then back again :)

Everyone told me that the conference itself is one of the best experiences you can have in AIESEC, but I have the feeling that also the trip to IC and back will be a very interesting experience for me.

Do not think I will be able to post anything until I return, so take care of yourselves and best of wishes.

Day 27- Hurricane Season

The hurricane season is just starting, and its going to be serious. At least that's what the National Hurricane Center in USA is saying. 85% chances that this year will be an "above normal" season, with 3 to 6 hurricanes.

The "Season" starts now and it will end in November.

For those of you who want to keep track of what is happening, http://www.nhc.noaa.gov/
Right now we have a small baby storm above us also, but this is just rainy and slightly windy.

Hope we can leave on Sunday.

Day 25- What I don't like so far

There is no notion of consumer respect.
Everyone makes you the favor of selling, and you as a purchaser should be thankful for their effort.

You have a constant feeling that they are stealing from you: from how long it takes for a check to clear in the banking system to the credit for your mobile that expires if you do not use it in a period of time (1 month)....

Lots of fire arms.....the most noticeable ones are the big shotguns that most of the security guards have.
And mind you that to some of these guys I would not even trust with my credit-less mobile phone.
I was made to understand that everyone carries one......and best of all.....you do not need a permit!
Gun shops are all around, four your own gunning pleasure.

I was told that when you go into a public institution, you are required to wear a long sleeved shirt, but you are not required to deposit your gun!

There is no Police here. Practically everyone does whatever they like.

They have DRIVE-IN BARS!!!!!!!!!!!! If, after you got your Big Mac and fries from the Drive-in Mac, you feel a little thirsty, just go down the corner into your local Drive-in Bar and get a nice cold bottle of Presidente, the beer we all love.
Small pleasures that make your hot day bearable.

The transport system is unbelievable slow, and no one seems to care. Trips that should take you 30 min take 2hours, simply because they make tens of stops along the way.

They use their cars honk for everything, signaling that they are happy, that they are sad, that they are impatient, that they saw a nice girl, or simply for fun. Constant noise and chaos.

In many cases, traffic lights are for decorative purposes only, maybe because the streets look much nicer with yellow boxes that flicker. Like Christmas trees, only year round.

The local news, which have a way of feeling very manipulative and tend to get me a bit depressed every morning when I read them.

Prices, which are the same as Europe, but their power of purchase here is many times smaller.

Everyone considers themselves smart, and I bet they think they are even smarter than you.

Anything and everything takes a looooooooooooooooong time to get done. From paperwork to accepting proposals, even of meeting, it's all about days spent waiting.

Life moves differently here, and maybe that's why this country deserves itself.
As do all countries for that matter of fact.